The Shadow of a Ghost
by SMakarov
Summary: Sgt First Class Katherine 'Shadow' Hawkins is nothing but the newest addition to TF141. Or at least, that's what 141 thinks. Truth is, she is a CIA undercover operative infiltrating 141 to spy on Gen Shepherd. In order to mantain her cover, she wades into a world of warfare, close combat and stealth missions, all to get one man. A world where one mistake would mean death. GhostxOC
1. The Introduction

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything/anyone other than** **Sgt. Hawkins! :) R&R!**

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><p>I watched as the base came into view from the helicopter. There were a couple of short structures, and one tower, that was most probably for sniping. A few men were doing pushups on the ground, wearing grey, blue or green shirts, with respective pants. Two men were walking around them, and I assumed they were their superiors. About 100 feet away from them, was a helipad.<p>

The chopper slowly touched down over it. I grabbed my duffel bag (which wasn't that heavy; I didn't bring that many stuff – my clothes, laptop, phone, journal (it's _not _a diary!) and a few books), thanked the pilot, and exited the heli.

One of the superiors nodded at the other to stay with the men while he jogged over to me. He had a mohawk, and a long scar running down his right eye. He extended his hand, and I shook it.

"Sergeant First Class Katherine Hawkins, right?"

"Just Kate will do."

"Alright. I'm Captain MacTavish, and I run the 141 under General Shepherd. Just a few quick questions, and then I can show you around the base."

I nodded.

"You have a callsign?"

"Shadow, sir."

Captain MacTavish grinned. "Nice. You picked it?"

"No, my squad mates back in America gave it to me. I'm quite stealthy, so according to them, finding me is like trying a catch a shadow – near impossible." I smiled, remembering how they'd explained the whole idea of trying to catch a shadow to me, because I hadn't gotten it at first.

"Stealthy…yep, your report said that too…be prepared for stealth missions, I'll be bringing you along for a few since it's your area of expertise."

I nodded once again.

"So Sergeant, do you want to share a room, or have your own?"

"Anything's okay, sir. I'll manage."

"Well, I'll give you your own room since, _you know_, you're a woman and all." Captain MacTavish waved his hand in the air. I chuckled.

"Well, I have nothing else for you, so I'll show you around the base." He turned to the men doing pushups. I realized they were all staring at us as they did their pushups, and once the captain faced them, they immediately looked away. "Roach!"

One of the men got up to his feet and ran to us. "Yes sir?" "Get her bag and put it in the free room. Shadow, this is Roach – Roach, this is Sergeant First Class Hawkins, callsign Shadow."

Roach smiled at me. He looked like a little boy; innocent and adorable. His brown hair was sticking up in different directions, and his hazel eyes were marble sized. I felt like a ten year old who'd seen a cute teddy bear. All I wanted to do was hug him and kiss his cheek or something.

He shook my hand too. "Great to meet you, ma'am." I almost forgot that I was a higher ranked officer than him. Shaking my head, I said "You've got permission to speak freely all the time, unless I say otherwise, Roach." He beamed, and took my bag from me. "See you later then, Hawkins." Roach walked off towards one of the structures.

"C'mon, let's go." The captain beckoned me to follow him, as he showed me around the base.

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><p>I was lying on my stomach resting on my bed, my shoes off, and all my stuff unpacked, using my laptop. I scanned through the news, reading about pretty much everything, ranging from politics to pop culture.<p>

Captain MacTavish had showed me around the base and then finally brought me to my room. Apparently I was being given a free day, and I had to join in the training and stuff the next day.

A knock on the door made me look up. I got off my bed and opened the door.

It was Roach.

He smiled that adorable smile again. "We're done with our training for today, so I thought I'd check on you. How are you? Like the place?" He asked.

I grinned. "Love it."

Laughing, Roach led the way to the main room. The men who I'd seen doing pushups were sprawled all across the room talking, watching TV, or laughing.

"Hey guys – recruit's here." Roach pointed at me, and then he jumped over the back of a couch, landing before the front of it and sitting down. All of the men turned to look at me.

_It's like 'first days in the army' all over again_ I thought.

"Hey! Holwins, right?" One of them asked. He had a dark skin tone and equally dark hair. I was about to reply when Roach spoke.

"It's _Hawkins_, not Holwins, idiot. And her callsign's Shadow."

The guy who had called me Holwins rolled his eyes. "Yeah just cause you were the first person to talk to her after Tavish doesn't mean you need to show off the fact that you know _everything_ about her."

"I don't know everything! Just her name…and her callsign…and her rank…and where she stays –" Roach defended.

"Which is about everything." The dude responded, smirking.

"No it's not. My life isn't that boring until that's all there is to know." I said to him, leaning against a nearby table.

"Alright then, girlie." He grinned. "Let's play a little game I like to call, 'One for One'. It's a homophone actually. One Four One, One for One."

The other guys shook their heads at his lameness. I chuckled. "How do I play it?"

"Easy. You answer a question I ask about you, and I'll give you a name. My name. The game goes on until you've got the names of everyone here. Simple?" I nod. "Then let's start."

"Why did you join the army?"

"Cause I wanted to." I shrug, grinning.

"Na ah-ah." He put up his index finger and shook it. "No shit like that. I want a proper answer. Or else no name."

"Fine." I frowned. It had been nearly 6 years since I'd enlisted, and honestly, I didn't really know what pushed me to do it.

"I wanted to save peoples' lives? No…I guess I wanted to fire guns and stuff… wait – no that's not it…why the fuck _did_ I join?" I asked myself as a few guys snickered.

After a while, I answered. "I guess warfare just looked and sounded cool and my parents came back with stories all the time – Dad was in the Special Forces and Mum was in the Coast Guards – and I wanted to become like them, you know?"

"I get it. I mainly came for the guns and the girls, though." Everyone in the room laughed. "Name's Meat. Next!" Meat turned to the guy next to him. This guy had dirty blonde hair, and deep blue eyes. He thought for a while, and then asked.

"American, right?"

"Yeah, but I was born in Russia. Mum was on a meeting with delegates or something." I shook my head, muttering "Crazy woman."

The guy laughed, and spoke. "Royce's the name."

The game went on just like that. Questions kept coming, and I kept answering.

"Good with languages?"

"I know Arabic and a couple of Slavic languages fluently, and a little bit of Portuguese. Suck at French, though. Only thing I know is 'Je m'appelle Kate.' and that doesn't really help much at all."

"Haha. The name's Neon."

"Hand to hand combat?"

"Pretty good. I can hold my own." I replied, and then I added as an afterthought. "But hand to hand is out of the question when your dear tangoes are carrying rifles, isn't it?"

"Then knife 'em!"

"Yeah, that's the problem. I'm horrible with knives! Any kind of knives. Swiss army, Spetsnaz ballistic, heck, even fucking kitchen knives! Anyone here who's good with knives, HELP ME!"

The brunette chuckled as he said "Chemo."

"Which part of the US Army were you from?"

"Joint Special Operations Command."

"Well that's a first. I'm Worm." The man gave me a thin superficial smile.

"Close combat or Sniping?" Asked another dude, who more or less looked like another version of Roach.

"Kinda okay at both, but if I had to pick, I'd do sniping. There's just that peacefulness that you don't get when you're doing a CQB, you know? No grenades blowing up, no stray bullets, no RPGs…it's the closest you can get to nirvana in the middle of a battlefield."

He turned and grinned at another guy, who I knew was Archer from a previous question he'd asked me. "Finally someone who understands us!" Then he turned to me. "Toad."

"Toad…let me guess, you're a sniper?" I predicted.

"Yup, me and Archer." He winked.

"Haha…well, I guess I'm done then. Got all of your names." I beamed.

"Question is, do you remember them?" Meat asked.

"Yes I do! Meat, Toad, Neon, Roach…Scarecrow!" said man nodded when I finally got his name, "Archer, Royce, Chemo, Worm…Ozone, Jayhawk…?" another nod, "and Rocket!"

"Well done!" Chemo praised me. I bowed.

The door opens and two men walked in. One was Captain MacTavish, and the other was the other authoritative figure I had seen when the guys were doing pushups in the morning.

He was wearing a balaclava with the design of a grinning skull, that covered his whole face, albeit his eyes. But that didn't mean his eyes were visible. He was wearing a pair of dark red tinted sunglasses over them. He looked dangerous, which he most probably was.

Captain MacTavish saw me. "You look like you're having fun, Shadow." He winked. "I sure as hell am. You've got a bunch of good men here, Captain."

The balaclava clad man scoffed.

"What?" Meat asked him, defensive. "We're good men! Something wrong with that, Lieutenant?"

"I just don't get how she sees a bunch of assholes as a bunch of good men." He replied. The lieutenant seemed to be smiling, but I wasn't sure.

The guys started accusing him of being evil, and some chuckled, while others, like Meat and Chemo, feigned a heart attack and tears respectively.

The two men at the door laughed. Roach turned to me and spoke as the laughter and antics died down.

"That's Lieutenant Ghost for you. Second–in–command in the 141, Captain MacTavish's right hand man. But yeah, if you have any problems or anything, don't go to him – he's not really the motherly type; he'll bite your head off. Usually turns into a crazy monster during drills. Basically, just stay away from him. _But_ if something happens and it becomes absolutely necessary, I repeat, _absolutely necessary_, for you to need him for any reason, don't go to him; come to me. I'll ask him for you. He likes me, you see. I'm the only one who can get away with all those kinds of stuff." Roach gleamed at the lieutenant.

"My fucking foot I like you." Lieutenant Ghost responded. "You like me and you know it." Roach sang, to the tune of 'I'm Sexy and I Know It'. "Should we be expecting a happy announcement?" Captain MacTavish asked, the whole room exploding into laughter. He shook his head. "I'm out." The captain walked towards the area where the rooms were, muttering "See you tomorrow, Shadow." to me as he passed, and went into his room, which I realized was next to mine.

I turned back to the main room as Chemo yawned.

"Well, we should be hitting the hay stack. Night-night, people." Chemo stood up, and walked past me. Soon, the other men were streaming into their rooms too. A few of them bid me things like "Goodnight." and "Sleep well, cause from tomorrow, you're world's turning into hell." Chuckling, I went back to my room and changed into clothes that were a bit more comfortable. I turned to face the clock in my room. 22:00

_The call should've been coming in…now._ I thought, just as my phone started ringing. I quickly picked it up and answered.

"Romeo?"

"Golf." I heard a smoky voice on the other side. "How did it go? Hit any roadblocks? Anyone tipping any red flags?"

"No, Roy. I talked to nearly everyone on the taskforce. None of them are screaming 'potential traitor'." I thought for a while. "Well there is this guy with a balaclava covering his entire face though. Don't really know what to make of it."

"Do you have a name?"

"Uh..." I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to remember if Roach said anything. "No. I do have a callsign and a rank though. Lieutenant Ghost."

I heard Roy relay the information over to someone, and then there was furiously fast typing. "Anything?" I asked my handler.

After a while, I got a reply. "No, just another soldier with a bad past. Nothing big."

"Fine then."

"Just keep an eye out. You're bound to notice something. Did you meet the General?"

"No."

There was a pause on the other end. "Are you alright, Eve?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just…nervous, I guess. There's training and all tomorrow. What if I really suck and then they kick me off? I mean the mission would be scrapped if I got sent off."

"Evie, there's nothing to worry about. You've been training for the last 8 months for this mission."

"Roy the last time I was a soldier was 2 years ago, before you picked me to join the CIA."

"And it wasn't the last time you've seen battle. How many times have things gone south while you were undercover?"

I sighed. He had a point. "Just think of this as another routine undercover op. Blend in, poke around, and when you have what we need, we'll pull you out. You hear me?"

"Yeah, Roy. Goodnight."

"It's afternoon here, Hawkins." I could practically _hear _him smirk. "Fine then good afternoon!" I retorted. "Call me when you get something. If you don't get anything, then call me same day, same time next week."

"Yes sir."

"Take care, Evie."

"You too, Roy." I hung up. Tossing my phone into my bag, I set my alarm and fell into bed. I couldn't explain why, but I had a weird feeling about this op. I've been on many undercover ops before, but infiltrating an international taskforce was something totally new. Gaining their trust wasn't going to be that easy. And if they ever found out I was, to put it bluntly, a spy, I didn't know what they'd do.

_Stop freaking out, Gen. You'll be fine. Just another op._

I shut my eyes, and willed myself to go to sleep.

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><p><strong>AN: So hope you guys enjoyed this :) The idea of her being a CIA undercover operative was the initial plan, but I felt that suddenly dropping it down on your heads in Chapter 7 or 8 (as it was in my original plan) wasn't the best idea. So hence, the redo :P Please review :D**


	2. World At War

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything/anyone except for Sgt. Hawkins.**

**Hey people! This is my second story COD MW story! I'm looking forward to this, and I'll be writing this alongside 'The New Chick'. Same 'rules' apply for reviews: Criticism is okay as long as it isn't rude!**

**Author Note: I am so sorry I haven't updated this in, like, a month! It's because I'm boarding (aka staying in a hostel of sorts) which is a part of my school's programme. Thing is there's no internet connection there, and my parents don't let me bring my laptop to school so I can't really do anything. Sorry :)**

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><p>We did a few warm-ups, and then went for a run around the base. I realized Roach wasn't kidding when he said Ghost turned into a crazy monster during drills. I mean seriously! He was the fastest amongst us (he was always in front of us), the one with the most stamina (we were gasping for air and he wasn't even panting), and he still managed to yell at us to "RUN FASTER YOU MUPPETS!"<p>

When we finally finished, most us were breathing heavily. I gladly took in the fresh air. I honestly never remembered having to run that long when I was with the Marines. The 8 month physical training that I was put through (so that I'd be in the same standards as the taskforce men) before the mission was activated definitely helped. I wasn't doing badly like I had thought I would.

Meat slowly sat his butt down on the ground. It had barely been a second when Ghost walked past him. "Get up." Ghost snarled at Meat, who immediately sprung up. "Alright ladies," and then he paused, looked at me and said "No offence to women." before continuing. "I'm out of ideas for what to do, and we've got to show off a little to the FNG, so now you guys get to pick what we're going to do. Remember, pick something you're _all_ good at; I don't think you want to look like idiots in front of her."

Meat immediately shouted out.

"CQB!"

"You're just saying that because I told you I suck at it!" I yelled back at him.

"You suck at it?" Ghost asked. I turned to him, and then realized how much of a moron I was, yelling in front of the drills commander that I sucked at CQB. "Then I guess we ought to start with that. Find out exactly _how_ horrible you are at it." He paused for a while, like he was thinking. "Have you run The Pit?"

"The what? I mean, no sir!" I corrected myself immediately. It's been too long since I was a soldier.

"Alright then, let's get moving."

Ghost turned around and started walking. The guys huddled up and we slowly followed him. I opened my mouth to ask about The Pit, but the guys beat me to it.

"Alright kid, listen to me." Meat whispered quietly. "The Pit is an obstacle course. Gun and run style."

"Oh no." I muttered immediately.

"Don't say that. You're gonna be okay." Chemo assured.

"There'll be a couple of pop-ups. Enemies _and_ civilians. Be sure to fire on only the tangoes carrying the rifles. Not the casual clothed people." Roach informed me.

"Point shoot. Don't waste your time aiming down your sights." Jayhawk advised.

"Keep your gun close. Some cut-outs only pop-out when you're like 5 feet in front of them." Ozone said.

"Move fast. Don't take your own sweet time." Neon told me.

"But at the same time, don't sprint it. If you do, you won't hit the targets properly and if you don't hit the targets properly, they'll add extra time. Same thing goes for shooting civilians." Scarecrow said.

I nodded, taking all of that in. I felt very nervous. It'd been some time since I'd felt like that.

"Hey, you're gonna do just fine." Toad reassured me. "Look at me! I suck at close quarters too, and I did it in what? 40 seconds?"

"Dude, that's not good timing." Royce stated. Everyone laughed, except for me. Toad must've seen that. "No, seriously. You're gonna rock that thing. They don't take people into Special Forces just like that. You're good. Just remember that when you're inside."

I inhaled and exhaled. "Ok." I nodded. Meat wiped the edge of his eyes. "Th-that was-s s-so t-t-touching!" He sniffed.

I clicked my tongue at him.

"Oi! Get your arses over here!" Ghost barked. We ran all the way to him. He turned to me.

"Captain MacTavish is going to be watching you," Ghost jerked his head upwards, and I saw the Captain in the observatory. He nodded at me. "so don't screw up. Go grab a pistol and a rifle."

I did as he instructed. "Remember, switching is always faster than reloading. Timer starts as soon as the gates open. Good luck."

I took in a deep breath as I turned to the opening gates.

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><p>"31.3 seconds. Not bad for a first, but I've seen better. Only thing that bugged me was how freaking loud you screamed when that target and the top of the stairs popped out. Why the hell?" Ghost asked.<p>

"Oh, that…err…I was just – I wasn't expecting him, so I kinda got shocked, sir." I said, my voice getting quieter and quieter as I spoke. They probably weren't going to kick me out for screaming, but honestly that was _embarrassing_. I think I might've been the first person who ran The Pit to ever scream at a target.

To my surprise, he chuckled. "You sounded like a five year old kid or something…well, work on that. We can't have you screaming on stealth missions and all." Looking at my expression, he continued. "Yeah, 'Tavish told me it's you're area of expertise."

Captain MacTavish came down. "Good job. There's definitely room for improvement, though. Oh, and nice shrieking by the way. You have a very high voice." Captain MacTavish grinned.

"I'm quite the screamer." I replied, smiling.

Awkward with a capital 'a'. The sexual innuendo only made sense after I'd said it. Ghost stared at me while Captain MacTavish started coughing. My mouth was opening and closing as I attempted to salvage any bit of my dignity that was left. In the end, Ghost dismissed me and I ran off to the guys, my face still red.

I joined the guys. They complimented my run, and offered a couple of suggestions and advices. After that, we entered the mess and got our food. All of us sat together, and Ghost and the Captain sat a few tables away from us. They seemed to be discussing something seriously. I watched them for a while, and then turned back to my table. Toad and Archer were arguing about the latter's timing on The Pit. Toad was saying that Archer was slower than him, and Archer was saying vice versa. The other guys were watching them intently, amused. Finally, Neon ended their argument by saying that they could both run it again and see for themselves who the faster one was and who the slower one was.

We were halfway through our food when Captain MacTavish called out.

"Men, and woman, get up, we're going to the rec room. Shepherd wants to see us for something."

A shiver went down my spine. The General was on base? "But we're not done yet!" Chemo whined.

"And neither am I, or is Ghost. Anyways, Shepherd says it's important."

"Fine." Chemo gave in, and all of us slowly got up and made our way over to the rec room.

Shepherd was waiting for us there, with a screen pulled down. He was tapping away at a laptop that was in front of him. This was the second time I was seeing him. First was, of course, when he had me dragged out of my 'bed' from the Marines base where I was 'stationed' in the middle of the night to be told that I was being transferred to the 141.

"General." Captain MacTavish greeted. The rest of us stood up straight, shoulders back and heads high.

"At ease, everyone." We unstiffened. "You might be wondering what I've called you here for."

"I'm sure you remember Private Allen?"

There were a few murmurs of 'Yes.'

I was about to nod – as part of my operation, I had heard about the General very unusual move – but then I realized that while Genevieve Hawkins knew, Katherine Hawkins didn't. "Err…" I started. Everyone turned to me. "Allen who?"

"Private Joseph Allen's in the 75th Ranger Regiment. General Shepherd had him transferred to the 141, and sent him on an undercover operation to get Makarov." Roach explained.

"Oh…" I pretended like as if it was new information. "So what happened?"

From Shepherd's grim expression, I could tell Allen's undercover Op hadn't gone well.

"Watch."

He tapped a button on his laptop.

The screen was suddenly filled with the security camera footage of what looked like an airport. The elevator doors opened and five men stepped out. My heart skipped a few beats when I saw what they were holding.

M240 rifles.

They opened fire on all the civilians. Blood splattered everywhere, and people screamed. But the five men didn't even flinch. I saw Allen's face amongst them. He too was firing, but I could tell he didn't want to.

The rest of the massacre went on. Russian Special Forces arrived, but the only damage they could cause was killing 2 of Makarov's men. I watched as he, another of his men, and Allen ran to their getaway vehicle, an ambulance. At first I was confused, but then I realized why he'd picked an ambulance; no one was going to suspect anything when they'd see an ambulance driving away from the site of a massacre.

It taught me one thing about Makarov – the guy was smart.

I watched the events unfold as they got into the ambulance. I gasped when Makarov cold-bloodedly shot Allen.

"The American thought he could deceive us. When they find that body…all of Russia will cry for war." His low and gravelly voice made my spine tingle.

Shepherd stopped the video. There was silence in the room. My jaw dropped as every vein in my body suddenly tensed. The cold realization that from that very second, or perhaps from even before that that _we were at war_ launched my mind into a crazed spiral. Shepherd opened his mouth to say something, but MacTavish interrupted.

"How the _hell_ did Makarov find out?"

"We don't know how, but it's not much of a shock. Makarov was always one step ahead of us; perhaps sending in a private was a bad idea."

My eyes briefly met Roach's, and he immediately looked to the ground.

Shepherd tapped another button. On the screen, a satellite tracked Allen, labelled KIA in Moscow, Russia after Makarov's terrorist attack on what I learned to be Zakhaev International Airport. The casualty list was uploaded, tagging Allen's profile, and crime scene was analysed. Near Allen's body were the empty shells of the ammunition used in the assault being traced and analysed.

"The Russians ain't gonna let this massacre go unanswered. It's gonna get bloody." Ghost speculated.

"Too right, mate. Now, in the eyes of the world, they're the victims. No one's gonna say a word when the Russians club every American they can reach." Captain MacTavish said.

"Makarov was one move ahead. Now he's left thousands of bodies at the feet of an American." Shepherd announced.

"We're the only ones who know it was Makarov's op. Our credibility died with Allen. We need proof."

"Follow the shell."

The satellite traced the ammunition's origin to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, then tracked Alejandro Rojas, along with his assistant. Their profiles were shown.

"Alejandro Rojas." Shepherd announced.

"Never heard of him."

"You should know him as Alex the Red. He supplied the assault." Shepherd explained.

"One bullet to unleash the fury of a whole nation. Which means..."

"He's our ticket to Makarov."


	3. Kinda Outta Luck

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything/anyone except for Sgt. Hawkins.**

**Hey people! This is my second story COD MW story! I'm looking forward to this, and I'll be writing this alongside 'The New Chick'. Same 'rules' apply for reviews: Criticism is okay as long as it isn't rude!**

**Author Note: Yeah I finished this quite a while ago, but in that version Shadow was supposed to be in the garage when Ghost was torturing the assistant. Then I felt like as if she was, you know, getting special treatment. It seemed like there was no reason for her to be with them, so I changed it. Oh, and yeah I suck at this map :) LOL Hope you enjoy!**

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><p>I yawned. Roach, Captain MacTavish, the driver and I had been in the vehicle for nearly an hour now. Nothing useful had come out of it.<p>

"Ghost, the plates are a match." It seemed we had finally been able to get close enough to see the plates without arousing suspicion.

"Copy. Any sign of Rojas' right hand man?"

"Negative. They've stopped twice already. No sign of him." I leaned back in my seat at the back. Roach was sitting next to me. He was brisk and awake. Me?

I was lazy and sleepy.

It's not that I was tired or anything. I was very excited, just that this wasn't how I expected my first mission to go like. Cooped up in a stuffy and sweltering car without an AC for an hour, wearing multiple layers of clothing which only worsened the unbearable heat and the lack of enough foot space due to equipment thrown in.

_Someone ought 'a clean this thing_ I thought.

I closed my eyes, trying to distract myself, when memories of the conversation I had had with Roy Hudson* (my handler) the night before started reeling.

"_I knew it wasn't going to end well. And I think Shepherd knew it too." _

"_Probably." I moved a chess piece on the board that was resting atop my side table. Check to the black side. I turned the board around. "Why would he want to ignite a war?" I asked._

"_Maybe to use the taskforce to win? I mean, if 141 killed the Russians and saved everybody else's asses, he'll have honor. A huge parade, ton of awards, that sorta thing."_

"_Yeah. I mean after the nuke, that would be reasonable…"_

"_I feel a 'but' coming on."_

"_I just don't think he wants fame, you know? He doesn't look like that kinda guy." I was going to continue, but then I heard loud voices on the other side of the phone call. _

"_Roy, what's going on?" I tensed. There was a pause, and I heard Roy talking to some other people. After a few tense seconds, he returned to the line. "Listen, Gen, I gotta go. The Russians are here."_

"_What do you mean 'they're here'?" Who was I kidding? Of course I knew what he meant._

_I heard a sigh. "I mean they're invading, Genevieve."_

_I breathed in, as my chest suddenly felt constricted. "Oh. Oh, okay." I said softly, pinching the bridge of my nose._

"_Don't – Don't do that…thing okay? It's not like I'm gonna die. Alright?" Roy said. My eyes were starting to water and I squeezed my eyelids shut. _

"_Yeah, I know. You'll bury me, remember?" I replied, keeping my voice steady._

"_You're not dying either."_

"_Okay."_

_There was a long period - maybe it wasn't long, I didn't know – where neither of us said anything. Then finally:_

"_Okay. Hanging up."_

"_Yep." I responded, as cheery as ever. But once I heard the click signaling the end of the call, I sunk to my bed in defeat. My eyes fell on the chessboard. I shoved all the black pieces forward with the length of my forearm, watching silently as they pushed into the white pieces and sent them over the edge. Every time a piece hit the wooden floorboards I felt like I was being punched in the gut. It was almost as if –_

"Wait, they've stopped again. Standby…" I opened my eyes as MacTavish's clear voice brought me back to present time.

I turned my body so that I was leaning on the car seat sideways, and pressed my cheek against the leather. I would've been more surprised if they were stopping actually to see Rojas' assistant than if they were going to pick up groceries.

"Got a positive ID! Whoever these guys are, they're not happy to see him..."

I perked up at that.

I realized Captain MacTavish's definition of 'not happy' was very different from mine. Ask me, and I would've said a miniature massacre was going to go down. Rojas' assistant had a pistol in his hand, and two clean shots came out of it, each hitting one of the two guys who had exited the vehicle. Another man came out of the vehicle, and the assistant shot him.

"Ghost, we have a situation here!" Captain MacTavish yelled into the intercom, just as Rojas' assistant turned to face us.

"Shit!" Roach yelled. "Get down! Get down!" the captain ordered. The three of us ducked as shots shattered the windscreen. Glass rained down into the car. I looked up and saw the driver slumped against the steering wheel, blood splattered everywhere around him. His head pressed against the car horn.

"He's getting away! Let's go let's go!" Roach and I immediately exited the vehicle, and began running after the assistant. "Ghost, our driver's dead! We're on foot! Meet us at the Hotel Rio and cut him off if you can!" MacTavish said through the intercom to Ghost. Ghost replied in a few seconds. "Roger, I'm on my way."

We turned the corner into a busy street with civilians and cars. Ghost joined us as we chased after Rojas' assistant.

"He went into the alley!"

"Non-lethal takedowns only! We need him alive!"

We chased Rojas' assistant into the alley and turned, where we saw he was about to get away.

"Roach- take the shot! Go for his leg!" MacTavish ordered.

Roach shot Rojas' assistant in the leg, causing him to fall down.

"He's down." Roach, MacTavish and I slowed down as Ghost ran forward to get the assistant.

I picked up my rifle and followed Meat, Royce and Roach outside. We walked into the area full of houses, and I could see the militia starting to pop up.

"Oh fuck…" They turned to look at me. I realised it was the first time I swore in front of them. I didn't care. "What's the problem? See something?" Meat asked.

"Yeah. CQB. Loads 'a CQB." I muttered.

They chuckled. "You'll be fine." Royce said. "C'mon, let's go. Remember - there are civilians in the favela. Watch your fire out there."

We stopped in front a fence with a small drop into the favela, where civilians were standing around. I had a bad feeling some of them were going to get caught in the crossfire.

"Meat, get these civvies outta here."

"Roger that." Meat fired a few shots into the sky, saying something along the lines of "This place isn't safe." in Portuguese. The civilians started sprinting in all directions.

The gunshots soon got the attention of Brazilian militia. They opened fire.

"Bravo Six, be advised - we've engaged enemy militia at the lower village. Roach! I'm with you! Watch the rooftops! Go!" Royce reported. Meat beckoned me to follow him and I did.

In a few seconds, I realised that it was _not_ going to be easy. The layout of the houses were confusing, and it was full of turns and corners. I just followed Meat wherever he went, until he decided to say something I didn't like at all.

"Crap, there's too many of them! Let's split up!" And without waiting for an answer from me, he dashed into one of the forks in the street. My heart sunk. I was so dead. I ran through the other way, keeping my eyes out for everything. I almost shot a couple of civilians who were running out of the houses.

I heard Captain MacTavish's voice through the intercoms. "Royce, gimme a sitrep, over!"

"Lots of militia but no sign of Rojas over here, over!"

"Copy that! Keep searching! Let me know if you see him! Out!"

I continued my way into the favela. I was about to run after turning a corner when a bullet whizzed past my ear. I immediately backtracked, and used the corner as cover. I spotted the shooters on the rooftops. There were about 5 of them. I took a deep breath.

_You can do this Gen._

I popped out of cover and fired a couple of shots. I managed to take two of them down, before I fell back into cover in order to reload. When I was done, I took the other three down.

I felt myself smiling. But my happiness was short-lived.

"Meat is down! I repeat, Meat is down!" Royce reported.

'_Oh fuck…'_ I thought

He was a good guy…I could just feel it. I knew I'd barely known him for a week, but I felt as if he'd already become my brother. I sighed, and pulled up my rifle. No time to mourn. I moved further into the favela.

I stormed a building and found myself facing Roach. "Hold it!" I yelled, as he pointed his rifle at me. "Oh, sorry! Thought you were militia!" "S'okay."

Our intercom burst with bad news. "Roach, I'm hit!"

Royce.

I saw Roach swallow and close his eyes for a few seconds. Great. Another person dead. Another brother. When Roach opened his eyes, I spoke.

"We're sticking together, okay? No splitting up, no 'You go that way and I'll go this way.' shit, alright?" I couldn't lose another good soldier. Especially Roach, who I'd grown on in the past week.

He nodded. "C'mon then. Let's go."

We went into an alleyway between sections of the favela.

"Shadow - we've got Rojas' location! He's heading west along the upper levels of the favela. We'll keep him from doubling back on our side - keep going and cut him off at the top! Good luck. Out."

We headed west up some stairs and headed towards the upper favela. A dog ran up and barked at us from behind the fence. Roach killed it. A civilian yelled in Portuguese "Run, get out of here!" from his window warning us about the militia ahead. We encountered a dog and many more militia as we moved up the favela.

"Shadow, we're taking heavy fire from militia here but I'm still tracking Rojas! He's gone into a building! Ghost, you see him?"

"Roger that, he's climbing onto a roof carrying a black duffel bag!"

"Well that ought to slow him down! Shadow, Roach – we're keeping him from doubling back! Keep moving to intercept! Go! Go!" We did as Captain MacTavish said.

"Keep going! Rojas is still headed towards your side of the favela!"

We got trapped in a corner. Militia were spinning out towards us from practically all directions. Hordes of them. We kept firing at them, but they're numbers didn't seem to dwindle at all.

"Don't let the militia pin you down for too long! Use your flashbangs on them!" Ghost advised. I did as he said, and then for extra measure, threw a grenade. The flash and the explosion stunned and killed most of the militia. We continued our way into the favela.

"I've lost sight of him again! Ghost, talk to me!"

"I'm onto him! He's trying to double back through the alleys below!"

"Roger that! Stay on him!"

"I've got a got a visual on Rojas! He's cutting through the market!"

"Roger that! I'll head for the rooftops and try to cut him off on the right! He's gonna have no choice but to head west!"

"I'm taking a lot of fire from the militia, I don't think I can track him through the market! I'm gonna have to find another way around!"

Roach and I continued through the favela, fighting militia up, down, left and right.

"Shadow! We're still corralling him closer to your side of the hill! Keep an eye open for Rojas! He's making his way across the rooftops!"

"Let's get up there!" I ordered Roach. He followed me up. "Shadow, Roach! Keep moving uphill! I've cut him off! He's got nowhere to go but west over the rooftops in your area! Roach, he knows the area well but we can trap him here! Don't stop! Go! Go!"

Roach and I cleared houses and rooftops of militia. We spotted Rojas, just as Captain MacTavish informed us that Rojas was heading our way.

"Shadow, we're going to cut him off at the summit, keep pushing him that way! Go! Go!"

I followed Captain MacTavish's orders. Roach and I engaged more militia. I had to say, I was getting the hang of it. All I had to do was constantly check my corners and watch the rooftops.

A few moments later, Ghost asked a question that was running through my mind as well. "Where is he, where is he?"

"Got a visual! He's over there, sliding down the tin rooftops!"

"Sir, I've got Rojas in my sights! We can go for a clean leg shot! We can end it here!"

"Negative! Not unless you wanna carry him back out with all this militia breathing down your neck! I need him unharmed!"

Roach and I cleared the area near the summit.

"Ghost, I'm going far right!"

"Roger that!"

Roach and I continued to push forward. We finally arrived at the summit. Rojas was at the top of a three story house. I put my crosshairs on him, but then remembered Captain MacTavish not clearing the idea of firing at Rojas.

"He's gonna get away!" Ghost yelled.

"No he's not." Captain MacTavish said in a calm tone.

I didn't even have any time to wonder what was happening when all of a sudden, Captain MacTavish broke through a window, and tackled Rojas onto a car. Ghost joined in and they held him down at gunpoint.

"Frontrunner, this is Bravo Six. We've got the package. I repeat we have got the package." Captain MacTavish reported.

"Command, ready for dustoff. Send the chopper. Coordinates to fol- Bollocks! The skies are clear! Send the chopper now!" Ghost paused, and then turned to face us.

"Command's got their head up their arse. We're on our own."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

***- Yes, this is Jason Hudson's (from BO 1) son. Genevieve Hawkins is the granddaughter of Marion Mason, which makes David Mason her uncle (but he's just 10-ish years older than her so they treat each other more like cousins). If you still demand an explanation, read on. PS: This will be explained later on, the explanation below is only if you really want to find out in detail and you want it now.**

**Marion already had kids when Alex's mom died, which happened a few years after 1963. She said her kids still want to meet 'their hero uncle Alex', so it can be assumed that they are probably 6-7 ish old (at the least the older one). So when David is born in 1979, (assuming 'a few years after' means 3 years-ish) Marion's oldest will be 19. So when the oldest is about 25, and fathers/gives birth to my OC, the year is 1985 and David is 6. After that, Gen grows up and she doesn't really know about David and all. Then when she joins the CIA, she finds out about Alex Mason, and Roy Hudson, her handler, informs her of her relations to him. So she finds out about David.**


	4. Runaway Baby

**Disclaimer: I only own Shadow!**

**A/N: Sioxsie, this one's for you since you told me to continue SOAG :) (I'm too lazy to type out the whole name of the story. LOL). Sorry if it isn't too good, I just wanted to finish up Hornet's Nest so that I can move on and do this-doesn't-happen-in-the -MW2-storyline moments :D**

**As with my other story (The New Chick), this is a kinda I'm bidding farewell chapter ;) No, this isn't the end of the story (of course not!) but I may not be able to write for quite a while because my school is going to start next week (ARGH!). PLEASE REVIEW!**

"There's Nikolai's Pave Low! Let's go!" Captain MacTavish yelled. I sprinted, running as fast as my legs could carry me. We'd gotten Rojas, interrogated him (read: Ghost sparked him with battery cables while Roach covered his eyes) and were ready for exfil when we realised that US forces had been banned from entering Brazilian airspace due to the destruction, which meant that we couldn't get out of Rio (or, in Roach-speak: "WE'RE STUCK HERE FOREVER!". Honestly, I couldn't believe it when he yelled that out and sniffled.) Fortunately, Captain MacTavish managed to call in one of his friends, who somehow just happened to be chilling around Rio with a Pave Low...

Well, I wasn't complaining. With the number of militia (Ghost said 200) after us, the sooner we got out of Rio, the better.

"Nikolai! ETA 20 seconds! Be ready for immediate dustoff!" Captain MacTavish relayed to the Russian pilot.

"That may not be fast enough! I see more militia closing in on the market!" Nikolai voiced through the coms, frantic. "Pick up the pace! Let's go!" MacTavish ordered. I fired at a couple of the militia as they ran out of the houses nearby; Roach and Ghost took care of the others.

Captain MacTavish and Ghost, with me and Roach on their tails, tore through some ground level houses and turned into a small football field. I saw the Pave Low hovering over it, getting shot at from a multitude of directions. I shook my head, when Nikolai voiced what I was thinking.

"It's too hot! We will not survive this landing!" I shot some of the militia, keeping my eyes on Captain MacTavish for his orders.

"Nikolai wave off, wave off! We'll meet you at the secondary LZ instead! Go!" Immediately, Ghost, MacTavish, Roach and I swivelled at ran towards the secondary LZ. We ran up to a wall and scaled it. I almost slipped off, but Captain MacTavish grabbed my wrist and pulled me up. Muttering a quick 'Thanks.', I turned and grabbed Roach's arm as he climbed up, pushing him forward. From the moment Meat and Royce had died, I had somehow made Roach my responsibility. And he never said anything whenever I pushed him to move in front of me. Maybe he just thought I was being kind or something.

We scampered across tin and concrete roofs. "My friend, from up here, it looks like the whole village is trying to kill you!" Nikolai reported.

I seriously considered pointing my rifle upwards and firing at him instead.

Captain MacTavish replied him, but I didn't hear what he'd said over the gunshots. Hopefully he told Nikolai to shut up.

I could see the Pave Low from where I was. It was very close. We were almost home.

"We're running out of rooftop!" Ghost announced.

"We can make it! Go! Go!" Captain MacTavish shouted. I started sprinting even faster as I got closer and closer to the gap. Gritting my teeth together, I lifted myself off the ground, just as Roach did the same.

Time seemed to slow down. My hands were above my head, and my hair, which was in a tight ponytail flailed. I jolted as I hit the ground on the other side.

The moment I saw Captain MacTavish and Ghost doubling back, I knew Roach hadn't made it.

I flipped around and watched as MacTavish tried to reach for him, but he fell. I screamed, and was ready to jump down to him, when Ghost grabbed the back of my vest and pulled. We both knew we couldn't go after him.

"Tell me we're not leaving him there!" Ghost asked MacTavish.

"Get on the Pave Low! He'll get up!" MacTavish replied. Ghost and I picked ourselves up and ran to the chopper, boarding it.

MacTavish got in after us. "Roach! Roach! Wake up!" He shouted into his mic.

"Roach! We can see them from the chopper! They're coming for you, dozens of 'em!" Ghost yelled. I turned to see the areas around him. Ghost was right.

"Screw this I'll get him." I said harshly and ran towards the chopper's exit. MacTavish grabbed my shoulder, holding me back. "What!" I breathed incredulously. He wasn't letting me go!

"Roach! There's too many of them! Get the hell out of there and find a way to the rooftops! Move! Run for it! Get to the rooftops!" Captain MacTavish ordered, and turned to Nikolai, circling his hand in the air. I wondered what the gesture meant, when the Pave Low slowly took off, and start rounding around the village.

I saw Roach getting up and running, before a building suddenly got into my view of him. I was panicking.

It was my entire fault! I was supposed to watch out for him! My words after Royce was killed rang in my head.

_"We're sticking together, okay? No splitting up, no 'You go that way and I'll go this way.' shit, alright?"_

Huh. So much for 'no splitting up'.

"Roach, we're circling the area but I can't see you! You've got to get to the rooftops!" I felt tears start to spring to my eyes, when out of the blue, my eyes fell upon the figure of a lean man dashing.

"Roach!" I shrieked.

"Roach! I see you! Jump down to the rooftops and meet us south of your position! Go!" MacTavish ordered.

"Gas is very low! I must leave in thirty seconds!" Nikolai announced.

"Fuck!" I swore. Couldn't this man stop sprouting bad news all the time?

"Roach! We're running on fumes here! You got thirty seconds! Run! Left! Turn left and jump down! Come on!" I watched anxiously as Roach scurried, following MacTavish's directions and orders. I saw Ghost moving beside me. Turning, I realised he was pulling out the Pave Low's ladder. I helped him and we both threw it out the chopper, so that it hung over the entrance.

He dashed across the rooftops, and slid down to where we were.

"Come on you son of a bitch!" I screamed. I had a tendency to swear whenever I got nervous or shit was flying sideways.

"Jump for it!" MacTavish encouraged.

Roach kicked himself off the roof. As he soared in the air, I closed my eyes. _God if he fell…_

Relief flooded through my veins when I felt the chopper jolt. He'd made it!

I looked over the entrance, and grinned at him as he climbed up.

"Nikolai! We got him! Get us out of here!"

"Where to, my friend?"

"Just get us to the sub..."

Roach clambered onto the chopper and collapsed onto the ground, along with MacTavish and Ghost.

None of us said anything. We just stayed like that; me leaning against the wall of the chopper, and the three guys lying on the ground breathing heavily and, in Roach's case, panting.

"Roach…"

"Yes Captain?"

"From now on, wherever you're going in the base, you jump to get there." Roach and I chuckled, while Ghost started laughing out loud. Perhaps he was envisioning Roach hopping around everywhere.

"I don't care if you going from your room to the mess; you don't walk. You'd better jump the whole time to get there. Understood?"

"As clear as crystal, sir."

We all laughed quietly.

**Did you guys like it? Well, honestly I'll tell you, I did rush this out cause I wanted it over and done with :P PLEASE REVIEW! IF YOU REVIEW, I'LL WRITE!**


	5. What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Go Crazy

**Disclaimer: I only own Shadow!**

**A/N: Super sorry for not writing for like, a long time! I made this extra long to compensate!**

**OH AND I DELETED THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER 5 BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE MARY SUE-ISH. HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER 5!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

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><p>The sun was fairly kind that day. For once, it wasn't blazing hot or burning us to crisps. The weather was quiet windy, and the sky was a clear blue.<p>

"Earth to Kate?" I turned and saw Roach sitting opposite me on the ground. We were having hand to hand combat sessions, and while a couple of the guys were off getting the safety mats and other stuff, the rest of us were just stretching and chatting on the ground. "You're the only one who calls me that, you know." I said to him. He smiled, shrugging. "I dunno…I just like your name. Kate. It's a beautiful name." I cringed inside. _That's not my real name, Roach._

"Thank you, Gary. Gary is also a beautiful name." I replied smoothly, and we both started laughing softly. "I swear, there's something in the water here." Roach said, shaking his head. He turned his whole body so that his feet were stretched out and pointing at my side. "C'mon, let's stretch it!"

Chuckling, I turned so that my feet were parallel to his, and stretched my hands towards Roach, while he did the same vice versa and we held each other's hands. "Ready?" I asked Roach. He was frowning and gritting his teeth slightly. "Yeah. I'll go first. Pull!" I did as he asked me to, and he groaned as he was forced to bend his back. "Ow ow shit!" Roach's hands snapped back. "Ouchie. That hurt. Alright, your turn." Roach said, extending his hands once again. I took them in mine and gave him a firm nod.

Roach began to pull slowly and gently, but when it became obvious I was easily giving in to his pulls, be started going a little faster. The pain in my legs felt good. I closed my eyes and let Roach pull me down until my hands were touching the tip of his toes. I was nearly kissing my own legs when all of a sudden a British accent tore through the silence.

"Your report didn't tell me you were from the circus, Shadow." I immediately straightened and looked up to where Ghost was looming over me. "No sir. I just used to do professional ballet."

"Seriously?" Roach asked. I nodded. "No wonder! You just kept going…I thought you'd fallen asleep or something." I rolled my eyes. "Well well, ballerina. Let's see how well you and your boyfriend here can do fighting each other." Ghost said out loudly. "Let's go." Roach said, and we both got up.

"You can stop holding hands now, lovebirds." Ghost announced, and everyone started laughing. I blushed and Roach just quietly said something to Ghost, after which Ghost smacked the back of Roach's head with his clipboard. Wincing, Roach and I made our way to the mats.

"What did you say to him?" I asked Roach as we walked around the rest of the taskforce. "_That_ I will tell you…if you win me." He grinned. "You're gonna get your ass kicked." I said to him, smiling smugly. "You may be good in JSOC, but 141 is a whole new kind of good." He winked. "We'll see." I said, shoving him backwards onto the mat.

"Go!" Ghost signaled. I held my fists above my eyes and in front of my face, as did Roach. He lashed out with a quick cross punch but I put my hands over my ears and let my elbows cover my face, effectively blocking the punch. However, before I knew it, I felt his arm go around the back off my neck, and in a few quick seconds, in which I could barely comprehend what he was doing, he had me in a tight chokehold. I was wriggling, and shoving and moving but nuh-uh, nothing was helping. My vision began to darken and I quickly tapped out. The moment he released me, I fell back and landed roughly on the mat, coughing.

"Can't say I didn't warn you." Roach grinned from over me. I growled at him. "Though don't worry FNG, I'll give you another chance. Best of three?" He suggested. I got up. "Best of five."

"You sure you can last that long?" Roach smirked. I gave him a slick right hand, which he totally didn't see coming. "Ow!" He groaned, as a few of the guys laughed. He briefly massaged his cheekbones, while turning back to me. "Alright then. Let's go for it."

We started fighting again. It soon became very obvious to me that he was not kidding when he said 141 was on a completely different league than the Marines. Roach was clearly trained in a lot of different varieties of fighting styles. I basically ran through Krav Maga, Systema, and loads of CQC, but I could barely recognize half the moves Roach was pulling. I decided to stick to what I knew, though, and it did help me win the second round.

We pulled back, and went at each other again for the third time. Roach got the upper hand of me, and managed to get me in a quick throw, and I almost brought him down with me but he twisted my arm and I slammed down onto the mat. The both of us got up, and thus began round four. Round four ended pretty quickly with Roach winning. He did a sweep move that ended with me on the ground and him straddling me.

When we pulled back, we were panting like exhausted dogs. We were both too incoherent to string together even a phrase. And on top of the exhaustion, Roach's nose was bleeding slightly, and I was sure that I had hurt my head quiet badly after the throw. Thankfully for the both of us, Captain MacTavish called it quits, saying something along the lines of 'I don't need two dead bodies on my hand'. Roach and I hugged briefly, and he whispered in my ear. "I told him he was just being jealous." We pulled away, and Roach winked. I shook my head.

"Roach, go to the bathroom and wash up. Shadow, you alright?" Captain MacTavish asked me as Roach walked away and the next pair went up to the mat. "Yeah I'm fine." I said. "My head's hurting a little, obviously, but other than that I feel alright." Captain MacTavish nodded. "If it hurts too much come look for me, Ghost or Archer. The nurse isn't in the infirmary right now." I nodded slightly. Captain MacTavish started to walk away, but the inner low self-esteem-ness of myself jumped out. "How did I do?" He opened his mouth to answer but I interrupted him. "No sir, be honest with me, please. Was that really bad?"

Captain MacTavish smiled. "It wasn't that bad, Shadow. Roach is one of the better fighters in 141, I honestly was a little worried when Ghost paired you with him, but yeah, you did fine. We'll definitely have to polish you up on different styles and choke hold escaping though." I agreed, and thanked him. "You wouldn't be here if Shepherd didn't think you were good, lass. I wouldn't worry about it." He said, and with a smile, he walked away.

_Psh. I'm here to spy on you, Scotland. _

That was a stupid thought. I begged my inner monologue-ness to shut up.

The rest of the session went by in a breeze. Soon, we were released to tidy up and get lunch. I walked back to my room, gathered my showering stuff and went to the bathroom. I entered an empty cubicle at the end of the row and locked the door behind me. Undressing quickly, I turned the shower on. The chilly water rained over me and I gasped at the temperature, but my body soon got used to it. I was going to grab my soap, but instead I tipped it and it fell off the counter. Sighing, I bent over to pick it up.

The moment I tilted my head over, it felt like an explosion just went off in my head. I groaned and immediately straightened up, pressing my palms against the shower wall. My head was throbbing all of a sudden. I bit my lip. It had been a long time since I'd hurt my head that bad. Hissing to myself, I grabbed my soap bottle with my toes and brought it up to my hands. I quickly bathed, and when I was done, I turned the shower off, wrapped the towel around myself and exited the cubicle.

When I got out, I realized that there was no one else left in the bathroom. I figured I probably took a long time thanks to my little fiasco, which was still hurting quite badly. Now and then I saw a few black spots in my vision. I decided to grab a nutri bar and sleep through lunchtime instead. I got to my room and changed into a set of clean clothes. My head still hurt rather horribly. I laid it against the headboard and winced.

I don't know how long I sat there like that. The position felt good; my head was aching a little less when I was sitting like that. My door suddenly opened. I looked up.

"Lieutenant?"

"You alright?"

"Concussion. I think. "

"Stay put. I'll get the med kit." Ghost said, but by then my head had started spinning again and my vision was blurred.

GHOST'S POV

I came back into her room in a minute, with a first aid kit with me. "Talk to me, Shadow. Stay. Awake. That's an order Sergeant." I said. She mumbled something as I lay her down flat. I readied an ice-pack and started applying it to her head. "What's your name?" At first she didn't answer. I repeated the question.

"Kate."

"Full name?"

"Katherine Lillian Hawkins." She managed to get out. I continued checking her pulse and administering other checks. "Lillian. That's a nice name. I had a friend in school called Lillian." Of course I didn't, but anything to keep her talking could do. "You had…friends?" She whispered. "Yeah. I wasn't antisocial or anything. What's today's date?"

"I don't know."

My eyes flickered back to her. _Shit…not memory loss…_

"I didn't forget when I hit my head or something, Ghost, I really don't know. Like I didn't check this morning when I woke up." She reassured me. I wasn't too sure. When I didn't say anything for a while, she spoke. "Do _you_ remember the date today?"

I sighed. "No but—"

"I don't have memory loss. I can remember things just fine. I was fighting with Roach, it was a tie. Chemo took Rocket down, Neon and Ozone fought, it was a tie again, then it was Worm and Scarecrow, Worm dislocated his shoulder, and then Toad and Archer took it out. Neither one was winning really so Cap cut it short. And then of course you and Captain MacTavish roughed up a little in the corner, nothing big. You were behind us, so you thought no one was watching you."

I raised an eyebrow. "You were watching us?" "Yeah Roach told me to see. It was funny, the captain nailed you in the groin." Shadow chuckled softly and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah we both knew if it was a real fight I'd take him down in no time."

"Really? I mean he's quite big. Broad, muscular. You are too, but he's bigger." I gritted my teeth together. "Size doesn't define everything."

I heard the door opening. I turned. MacTavish walked in. "You said you were going to check on - cripes is she alright? What happened?" MacTavish started worrying. "She's fine. Grade 2 concussion."

"Can you two stop talking like as if I'm not right here?" Shadow groaned. "I thought I told you to come to me if the headaches didn't stop?" MacTavish glared at her. "A grade 2 concussion! It's quite serious, lassie! Nothing to play around with!"

"Yes sir!" Shadow attempted a weak salute. "I would've called someone, but there was no one, and I was too lazy to get up and get someone. Besides, ain't it better I didn't decide to start walking around?"

"She's got a point, Cap." I admitted. "See? I'm not that dumb." MacTavish and I glanced at each other.

I heard the door creaking again. "And who's gonna huddle around my sickbed now?" Shadow mumbled. "Did I hit you too hard?" Roach asked, smiling slightly as he walked up to her. "You idiot! You're the reason I'm stuck here!"

"Don't get so iffy! You gave me a nearly broken nose."

"Whatever…hey isn't iffy the name of that little white Japanese rabbit?" I turned to MacTavish and we both chuckled. Inappropriate outbursts were fairly common after a concussion, and we'd heard worse from the other 141 guys.

"No it's Miffy and she's not Japanese, she was originally Dutch." Roach replied. There was an awkward pause.

"Why do you know that?" Shadow asked.

"I have a sister, okay?" Roach shrugged. MacTavish turned back to Shadow. "Alright you keep sleeping, I'll send Archer to come and check on you every once in a while." She nodded, and we left her room.

"I wasn't aware you were capable of being nice." Roach said. MacTavish just rolled his eyes. "I was just making sure she was going to be alright, after what you did to her." I responded. "I didn't mean to!" Roach said, shoving my arm playfully.

"Yeah yeah whatever."

"No but seriously, I've never seen you be that kind to anyone." He turned to the captain. "I mean, don't you agree?"

MacTavish nodded. "I have to agree, Ghost. You seemed awfully nice to her."

"I'm in a good mood, and if you two fuckers don't shut up I'll hang your arses from the flagpoles."

"That does _not _sound like you're in a good mood." Roach said cheekily. I growled.

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><p><strong>Did you guys like it? I hoped you did! I didn't want it to sound like all of a sudden she is getting preferential treatment from Ghost and BAM! they're in love and all so yeah...and was it Mary Sue-ish?<strong>

**PLEASE REVIEW! IF YOU REVIEW, I'LL WRITE!**


	6. Snow Day!

**A/N: In the middle of all the sadness and darkness over in The New Chick (oops, Spoilers!), I had to write something a little happy, so I turned to my lesser of two dark fics, Shadow of a Ghost. SOAG is going to get a little dark soon, but I think I'm going to tone it down a bit seeing as TNC is going to be the epitome of darkness for its next few chapters.**

**So, how about a _SNOW DAY_! I recently experienced snow for the first time in my life (though it was fake snow, but who cares?) so here goes xD**

********Anyway, I would like you guys to visit my profile and answer my poll!********

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><p>"Once again, a good for nothing field trip." Toad huffed, as we trudged through the thick snow to our temporary base. 'We' was defined as me, Toad, Archer, Captain MacTavish, Ghost and Roach.<p>

"Whaddya mean once again?" I asked, trying to balance myself in my heavy boots as freezing winds kissed every part of me that was exposed.

"Intel goes wrong a bloody lot round here Shadow. We get sent for missions and turn up and find absolutely nothing there at all." Archer explained.

"Sucks." Toad said bitterly.

"Cheer up frogman!" Roach interjected, his nickname setting off chuckles from everyone but Toad, who was really bummed.

"Hey," I said, nudging Toad. "The day's still young. Maybe we'll run in to a couple of bad Russians."

"You wanna bet Sha – WHAT THE FU –"

A large snowball slammed into the back of Toad's head. Everyone whipped around to see the youngest member of the team in hysterics, slapping his thigh repeatedly.

"You son of a bitch!" Toad threatened, and with a gleeful grin, grabbed a nice handful of snow and launched it at Roach. The latter was too busy laughing to see it coming.

And that was it. The two young sergeants were dashing around the rest of us, dodging each other's snowballs that sometimes went very off target ("I am going to fucking stick my sniper rifle up your ass for that!" "Sorry Archer!").

I ran as fast as I could without falling and joined the CO. "We there yet?"

"Not yet. Still another 20 minutes, I'd say."

I paused. "Was Archer telling the truth? About the intel being wrong almost all the time?"

"Not all the time, but yes, more than I'd like it to be. It's tough to get intel on men like Makarov." MacTavish explained.

"But doesn't it seem funny if the intel is wrong that much?"

MacTavish turned to face me, but didn't stop walking. "You don't trust Shepherd?"

Crap. I'd pressed for info too much. "I don't trust anyone with a moustache that thick." I joked, lightening the mood. MacTavish chuckled.

"Well then you wouldn't have liked Price." He said quietly.

"Captain Price? _The _Captain Price?"

"He was my Captain when I was something like them." MacTavish jerked his head towards the two sergeants who were still chasing each other, launching snow balls in every direction.

"THUNDERBALL!" Roach announced in a loud, deep voice, and threw a snowball that was slightly bigger than the usual ones. It missed Toad completely and crashed into Ghost.

"Oh shit."

"YOU BLOODY MUPPETS!"

"Well, when I was little more mature." MacTavish corrected, and we chuckled. "Ghost, don't kill them."

"Roger that sir! COME BACK YOU COCKROACH!"

I grinned as Ghost caught Roach and held him up by the back of his vest. Roach shrieked and begged for mercy, though it wasn't until he did his irresistible puppy face that Ghost finally let him go.

Archer and I cooed. Ghost glared at us (or at least that's what we thought; the mask hid everything) and we immediately stopped. I pulled back and waited for Archer to catch up with me.

"So how's the 141 going for you? Halfway through your second week here, second misson..."

"Awesome." I smiled. "Love the people."

"Oh you do?" Archer raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, why?"

"The first thing that bugged me was how fuckin' insane these twats were."

I laughed. "Well, it's kinda cute, in a way."

"You think those morons are cute?" Archer said in a baffled tone.

"Well, yeah." I replied.

Archer just stared at me confused, and then put his hands up. "Women."

"What?! It's cute, they're like little kids!"

"That's not cute, you know what's cute?"

"Fine then what's your definition of cute?"

"When a guy's head appears in your crosshairs and you take the shot and his head just goes 'pooffsh' that's – that's cute."

"Where I come from, that's violent. And yes, a little self satisfactory but definitely nowhere near cute."

Archer just laughed at me, and I smiled back. I was really starting to like that guy.

My hair was feeling loose, so I pulled my hood and beanie back and removed my hair tie. I was going to tie it back when all of a sudden something wet and cold slammed into the back of my head.

"ARCHER! OH MY FUCKING GOD!" The entire team turned to look at me, just as I whipped around, perfectly in time for said man to chuck another one right at my face.

There was loud guffawing as I grabbed some snow of my own and started to launch them at Archer. A big one smacked him right in the face as I started laughing so hard I almost cried. Archer rolled a pretty huge one and I dashed ahead to the front of the whole team. I turned around mid way and saw that he had already thrown it, and it was on its way to land on me. I shrieked and ran backwards. It landed right at my feet and I stuck my tongue out at Archer.

He was going to prepare another one when his eyes widened. As did everybody else's. I wondered what was behind me, and I quickly turned.

Only then I noticed the lack of a straight path, and that there was a huge slope.

And also the fact that I'd already leaned on my right foot, which had no footing.

There was a loud chorus of "SHADOW!" right before I fell.

I couldn't even scream consistently, for snow and ice and parts of the ground flew into my mouth the whole time I was displaying the most artistic way to break my bones. I lost count of the number of times I rolled. And thanks to me becoming Archer's target, I hadn't gotten to tie my hair which resulted in dark brown swirls swatting my face. Not to mention, the occasional twig and tiny rock.

Finally I reached the end of the slope. I landed face down on the snow and my face started freezing so I flipped myself.

I could hear the sounds of people sliding down the slope, and unlike me, the men of 141 landed very neatly.

Ghost kicked off the end of the slope just as I slowly sat up. One look at me, and Toad, Roach and Archer started laughing their asses off.

I grimaced and chucked nearby snow at them.

"You alright, snowgirl?" Ghost asked. I could tell he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Yeah." I said.

"Huh." MacTavish said, squinting at the empty area ahead of us that was neatly covered from view behind a large line of tall, thick trees. "Looks like you found us a short cut to our temporary base, lassie. Move along, start setting up, everyone." He ordered.

I stood up, with my beanie and goggles in hand.

"Nice. You should think about joining the winter Olympics, really." Archer commented.

"Whatever. Last two to the base have to set the tents up!" I announced and started legging it. The three boys began dashing as well.

Roach and I were way ahead of the snipers when we finally reached the base. "Hah sucker! That's what you get for messing with me!" I taunted Archer. He nodded and said one word:

"Cute."

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><p>"Alright, we're done!" Toad called out.<p>

"Yay! Slavery is the road to success!" I exclaimed to the snipers as they emerged from our tent.

"I hate setting tents up. Shadow, I'm going to kill you." Archer threatened, as he stretched his back.

"Hey, that's what you get for chucking snow at me and indirectly sending me falling 3 storeys down a snow slope! FYI, There's snow in my jacket and beanie and gloves and boots and I can't get it out and it's freezing!"

"There's an easy trick to that. You are so full of codswallop." Archer said, approaching me.

"What did you just say? Cods – codswell – codswalelolelolel – AHHHH!" I screamed as Archer grabbed the back of my vest and started shaking me around like as if I was a ragdoll. I was so dizzy and I couldn't see anything, expect for – you guessed it – my hair slapping my face again.

When he finally let me go, I was too disoriented to even tell ground from sky so I just tried to put my feet somewhere to keep balanced, but eventually I lost it and kinda half ran half fell into a tent.

Oh, joy. It was the CO/XO tent.

There was a long, pregnant, awkward silence.

"I swear I'm not clumsy it's just Archer." I said, still on the ground, to my two bewildered superiors.

Then, out of the blue: "Shadow I got youuuuuuu!" I raised my head to see Roach running in my direction to help me up.

Which wasn't a bad thing, really, at least until he somehow started sliding on some ice.

"WOAAHHHHHH AHHHH HELP SHADOW!"

And with that, he crashed right on top of me.

The air got knocked out of my lungs, and I groaned in pain.

"I don't like ice." Roach announced.

"Best. Mission. Ever." I said.

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><p><strong>AN: How was it? **

**PLEASE REVIEW! XD **

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	7. Fallen Comrades

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in like forever! Studies caught up! Please remember to review!**

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><p>The week long mission in the misty cold mountians of Kazakhstan had ended nearly a few weeks ago. Toad's prediction had been right; we ran into nothing. There was no sign of base of any sorts, and the only form of life we ran into was a small white puppy. Toad and I had brought her back intending to keep her on base, but Captain MacTavish wouldn't let us bring her anywhere near him, and when it finally came to the last day before we left, we decided the puppy would be better off by herself.<p>

The entire base was in a melancholy mood, almost deserted. Most of the men had left for the town, probably to drink away their sorrows following the loss of another soldier. This time it was Neon. After the Kazakhstan mission had ended, another had popped up, in South Africa. Captain MacTavish sent Toad, Neon, Ozone, Rook and himself. When they returned, there was one less man. It seemed an IED went off. CASEVAC couldn't get there in time and the man bled to death.

I shuddered, and made my way to my room.

I was walking past the Captain's room when I heard a hiss of pain that made me stop at the door. I listened for a while, only hearing the Scottish Captain swear and slam something down on a hard surface. It seemed he was alone, so I knocked and opened the door slightly, peeking in.

"You're supposed to wait til I say you can come in, yeh know?"

"I thought formalities didn't exist here." I entered the room, a slight smile on my face that got quickly washed away when I noticed the Captain's half naked torso bearing a rather gruesome and bloody cut.

"Like what you see?" MacTavish said in a gruff voice, reaching for sterile cloth.

"You should be at the infirmary." I moved to stand in front of him. The lighting was bad, so I turned his desk lamp on and shone it over my shoulder at his body, resting myself atop his desk. He brought his chair to the side of the desk and sat down, handing me the cloth.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." I quipped, cleaning his wound.

He didn't reply. I worked in silence, albeit the occasional wince of pain from the Captain or the sound of me putting down and picking up first aid equipment.  
>"Are you okay?" I finally broke the silence. I never really liked quiet.<p>

"Yeah."

I paused. "You just lost a man in the field, Cap."

"So what you want me to cry now?" His blue eyes bore through me.

"If you want to you can. There's nothing wrong with mourning a death, and I think you shouldn't blame yourself. That's all."

"Sentimentality isn't going to get me anywhere. I should've watched him. I let him die. He is - was my man. I should've saved him." He closed his eyes, drowning in guilt.

I put my equipment down. "John, it wasn't your fault."

"Then whose fault was it, huh? Neon?" John MacTavish raised his voice. He straightened himself, all 6 feet of him, and stood more imposingly than I'd ever seen him. The muscles in his face were taut, his teeth gnashed. He towered over me, and I worked to keep my heart rate in check.

"I'm not blaming him. I think we shouldn't blame anyone. It's not going to bring him back, is it?"

There was a quiet pause. My Captain stared at me, and sighed, bowing his head. "It gives me somewhere to put the guilt."

"You shouldn't put the guilt anywhere. Everyone feels guilty, and that's what makes us human."

He got up and stepped back, resting his hands atop his head, knotting his fingers. "Don't give me that cliché human emotions crap."

"You feel guilty because you cared for him, and now he's gone. There is nothing wrong with that. It's a perfectly normal response, John."

"Do you feel guilty?"

"Not really. I barely knew him. But I feel depressed, I wished I'd gotten to know him, and his death makes me think that I should cherish the ones I love because they could be next. It also makes me a bit scared. And angry."

John's eyes connected with mine, and an almost amatory feel washed over me. I stopped thinking so much, and responded instinctively. I leaned forward and slightly brushed his hand with mine. His fingers slowly curled around my hand, and he gave a soft squeeze. I gently pulled him close such that he was now standing before me with my knees touching his hips, and resumed removing the final pieces of shrapnel in his wound before I began stitching it back.

The door opened just as I snipped the stitching thread, finishing aiding my Captain's wound.

It was the lieutenant.

He entered, and used the scotch bottle in his hand to shut the door. "Didn't know you'd be joining us." Ghost said to me, nonchalantly.

The Scot turned and grabbed 3 glasses and Ghost began filling them up with caramel coloured liquid.

"Shepherd has already picked out a new guy."

"Neon's replacement?" I raised my eyebrows. Ghost nodded. "That was unusually fast." I commented, quickly calculating in my head how long it had been since Neon's death.

"Shepherd has a stack of recruit files that he just tosses at us when we lose someone. Others who join up at random times are ones who just catch his eye with their skills."

I nodded.

"Shepherd put you through some kind of test before you got sent here, right?" Ghost asked me.

"Yeah. Fake attack on the base at 2 in the morning. Don't they have rules against that? Faking a real thing? I mean they announced over the coms that it wasn't a drill, you know? I suppose I must've done well, next thing I know I'm on a jet to the primma donna squad."

MacTavish chuckled, and then winced as he lowered himself onto a nearby chair. "Yeah, you did good. Never seen better scores on your stealth exercises. Well other than Ghost, but who beats Ghost?" The Captain turned to said man, smiling. He seemed to be a little drunk already.

"No one beats me." Ghost said lowly, to no one in particular.

"Can I attempt to challenge you on that?" I grinned.

"Sure. If you win, you get to see me naked. If I win, striptease. Deal?" Ghost said, laughing. MacTavish wolf-whistled. Yeap, definitely drunk.

"Very funny. If I win, I get to rub it in your face. If you win...-"

"You'll go out for a drink with me." Ghost finished. This time, he wasn't joking.

I could feel heat rushing into my cheeks, and my heart began banging against my ribcage like a prisoner in a cell.

"You want to go out with me?" I maintained my voice as neutral as possible.

"Not like a date. Just for fun. Roach pukes and 'Tavish can't handle his drinks -"

"Oi! -"

" and I'm getting bored of going alone." He responded, stretching backwards. I nodded. Of course. It wasn't like he had feelings for me.

Or like I had feelings for him.

_Of course not. That would be highly unprofessional and you are professional. Besides, you're undercover and he's not even __worth it - HOLY SMOKES ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW -_

His shirt rode up as he leaned backwards and his waist-hip area was exposed and _god that was a hot sight. _His taut stomach threatened to be exposed and his abdomen muscles flexed. I quickly turned away, definitely blushing.

_Normal response to a hot guy. Not like I like him. He's weird, he wears a mask. Yeah, you definitely don't like him._

I straightened myself and crossed my legs. "Deal." I replied.

"When's he coming?" MacTavish asked from his quiet, drunk, oblivious corner.

"A week."

"What's he like?" I asked Ghost.

"Pretty decorated. Australian Armed Forces. Medic. Saved a soldier on his team while he himself was heavily injured and dragged him back to the LZ." Ghost answered, as he put his glass down on the table and leaned back on his seat, though not as far as before.

I let out a low whistle. "I'm impressed already."

He hooked his thumbs under his belt with his other fingers resting on his thigh. "Around a place like 141, he's nothing special. Rocket finished a 5 man mission by himself after it went south halfway and his teammates died. Roach, well, never dies. Survived a fall out of a chopper and went on to hold his ground til evac got there. Jayhawk was held hostage for a month, and had to watch his team members die."

The Captain, apparently still paying attention, interjected. "Scarecrow."

"Ah yeah, Scarecrow. There's a good one. Brought an entire Russian comms base down with one AK-47, 4 mags and 5 grenades. He's got brains. Hit all the flammable and core areas."

My jaw dropped. If I didn't feel worthless next to these men before I now did.

"Ozone saved a 5 year old kid and carried her 50 miles to safety. Archer took a successful sniper shot from 2500 feet, longest in history. Toad saved a whole fucking village full of innocent civvies. And Soap here shot down Imran Zakhaev. I could go on and on."

"And you?" I said, to Ghost, finishing my drink.

The Scotsman laughed. I frowned as Ghost got up and said "That's a story for another day. Goodnight mates." and promptly left.

"Pigs'll fly when he finally opens up, I swear. Now go on. Shoo. Get outta my room - I wanna sleep."

I stared at the Scot, shaking my head as I got off his desk.

He called out to me as I touched the door knob. I turned.

"Thanks."

I nodded, and left.

My feet moved, one foot in front of the other while my mind was filled with other thoughts of everything that had just happened. It was only after I ran into Roach that I became aware of my surroundings. The said man was leaning against the doorframe of the room that was previously occupied by Neon and Doc. I became consumed with depression and a heavy weight in my heart all over again and we briefly nodded at each other, both mourning the loss of a good soldier. I suddenly felt guilty for almost having fun with Ghost and the Captain. A fellow soldier was dead and here I was, losing my mind over exposed men. I wish I'd gotten to know Neon better.

Roach and I both stayed unmoving for a while, until he completely turned to face me and in the few seconds before he engulfed himself in me, I saw tears in his eyes. I held Roach close to me, and we hugged each other. Some form of comfort in knowing that there was at least someone else left alive and whole.

Eventually, he let go, but we still had our arms around each other's shoulders as we walked. There was a sinking pain in my chest, and I wondered what Neon was doing right now, Maybe he was over, finished, ended. Maybe it was true and Heaven existed and he was being guided into nirvana by holy angels, watching over us. Or maybe he went to Hell, and was burning in the deepest, darkest pits of the underworld. I couldn't bring myself to think that way so I stopped. Roach and I halted at Ghost and his room. The door was opened slightly and I could see Ghost at his desk, writing in a small journal. I wondered what he was writing about. Roach hugged me once again, then entered his room. Ghost turned to acknowledge his presence then turned back.

As I walked back to my room, I wondered about him. The secretive lieutenant was an enigma. I didn't know anything about him, his name, his face, his background, his family, nothing. And yet, everyone in the 141 trusted him. I realized I couldn't do that. This man clearly had something to hide. I shouldn't have been trusting him at all.

_Gen, you're __a spy__. N__ot a soldier__. Get a hold of yourself. Stop caring about them. Your job is not to worry about them and keep them alive. You aren't supposed to be trusting any of them, not just Ghost. Stop getting close._

I groaned to myself and fell onto my bed. I tossed and turned, eventually falling asleep on my side facing the empty bed on the left side of the room.

When I woke up the next morning, it wasn't empty.

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><p><strong>How was it? I hope it was okay :) Please review!<strong>


	8. Secrets Are My Life

**A/N: New chapter! Yay! I'm glad I can finally get to the romance xD Or at least get it started :P I think the pace is going to quicken from now onwards, what with the romance and the spying and the danger :D This is gonna be fun! Please review!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

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><p>"Oh my fucking god!" I screamed, and promptly fell off the bed, landing on the other side.<p>

"Dude you sound like a woman." My intruder observed. I picked myself up slowly. Without him seeing, I grabbed my knife from under the mattress and held it behind my back.

When my intruder saw me, with my dark brown hair flowing until my collarbone and a thin dark green army shirt and black shorts clinging to my body, his viridian eyes widened.

"Fuck a duck - you are a woman!" He paused, confusion written all over his face. He had golden blonde hair that was tousled in an attractive way and a well-built body. His height was nowhere near as imposing as MacTavish or Ghost; he was probably only a few inches taller than me, but the way he held himself made it clear he wasn't lacking in confidence. "Is this the 141 base?"

I blinked, wondering whether to tell him the truth. Our base was top secret, so I couldn't just tell anyone, right? But then again, if he was an enemy, there was absolutely no way he was going to get out of here alive.

"Uh, yeah."

"What are you doing here?" My intruder continued my interrogation. I decided to start asking him questions too.

"I'm part of the 141 - who are you?"

"What you're a nurse?" His eyebrows scrunched up, and his eyes narrowed. Suddenly, everything clicked into place, especially the Australian accent in his voice.

"You're Neon's replacement aren't you?"

"Yeah." Not-an-intruder-anymore said. When I didn't say anything, he continued. "Are you an admin officer or something?"

"No, I'm your squadmate." Neon's replacement raised his eyebrows. "I am a soldier."

His mouth opened and closed several times before he decided to use his voice. "But you're a woman."

I slapped a palm to my forehead.

_Knew I'd eventually have to run into one of this type_

"Oh jeez, you're a sexist?" I glared at him, crossing my arms. My knife glinted in the silvery light we were being bathed in.

"What- no! I think women are pretty fucking great and awesome and gorgeous - like you - and equal to men and all but come on, you guys aren't as strong as us and this is the freaking prima donna squad; not really a place for women."

"Well I can assure you I've earned my place here." I retorted.

"You have to realize - you're a liability. You could slow us down, you could get injured, and if we get captured, they'd do horrible things to you, because you're a woman." He argued, staring me down.

"I am not a liability. I'm just as fit as the rest of the men here, I get the job done, and I don't give up. And as for the getting captured - I'll have you know this: I am on the record list at the SERE training camp in the special forces."

"You do realize SERE training is probably only going to keep you alive for a little longer than the average soldier who gets captured?"

"Yes. Which is why I don't plan on getting spotted. I'm the second best at stealth on this base, just, FYI." I said, smiling sweetly.

Mr Green Eyes decided to say something, but he was interrupted by the door opening. McTavish entered and immediately, the FNG saluted. I tried not to laugh.

"Formalities don't exist around here, mate." The new guy stood down. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you in the morning, I had some important business to attend to but I'm sure Lieutenant Ghost was more than capable. We weren't expecting you until a week after."

"The mission that I was on was supposed to last the week, but we got it done in a few days." New guy stated, nonchalantly. I pressed my lips together.

"There isn't really much I have for you, Ghost told me he'd given you the basic rundown of this place. Just a few things - don't be late for your meals, don't hide any injuries, and don't hit on the nurses. And you should go get your breakfast, training is starting in 30 mins. If you need anything, you can come find me, Lieutenant Ghost or just about anyone. Your bed buddy here -" he waved his hand in my direction "- is Shadow, and I'll leave the introductions to her. Glad to have you here, Sergeant."

"Me too." New guy responded. With a swift nod, MacTavish left.

"I'm Scott Martin, SASR - well I guess now it's ex-SASR -"

"Don't get your hopes high - there's a chance you could suck and we get to send you home." I smiled.

Scott glared at me. "Anyway, I'm 26 -"

"Same."

"- I'm an only child -"

"Same."

"- and joining the army wasn't my first choice in terms of a career -"

"Same."

"Are you always this annoying?"

"Only to jerks." I replied smoothly.

"Look, I'm not sexist. I just think there's a possibility that you being a woman might be a negative thing -"

"And I just think that you need to be more open-minded. I'm here for a reason, Scott. It's not because I'm some kind of eye candy or whatever. If I slow the men down, I'll be off this task force before I can blink, and I've been here almost 2 months."

Scott nodded, but he didn't seem convinced. I'd had enough of that conversation.

"Anyway, I'm Katherine Hawkins, callsign Shadow. Ex - JSOC. Like I said before, I'm 26 too, and I didn't always want to join the military."

"What did you want to do? Scott inquired as he held the door open for me. We exited and walked down the corridor.

"I was actually going to do professional ballet." I couldn't stop the thin smile from spreading across my features as I remembered all the years I'd spent, training in dance studios, wearing skintight sarcoline shaded leotards, balancing perfectly on pointe shoes and appearing sylph-like. My palms suddenly yearned to feel the soft, cold wood of the ballet barre under them, and I could feel the ghost of ribbons wrapped around my ankle.

"I can imagine you dancing." Scott remarked, eliciting a chuckle from me. "Why'd you stop?"

I sighed. "I fell once, and busted up my ankle. I took me 6 months to get back on track, but I could never do professional ballet anymore. All I could do was teach little kids basic ballet, and watch in envy as others could afford to dance on their toes."

"Sucks." Scott stated. I nodded, and we made our way to the mess. It struck me as odd how none of the men were around. I'd expected to run into them on the way.

"What about you then? What did you want to do?

"Psychology." Scott grinned, his white teeth flashing at me. "Read my mind?" I smirked.

"You wanna know why I joined the army instead."

"Not bad. So why?"

"My best mate was in the army. He got shot in Iraq. Couldn't sit still and do paper work after it happened. I felt like...I needed to be out there. I needed to make sure someone else's best mate doesn't get shot down too. I guess I just didn't want to put anyone through what I'd gone through." Scott explained, his eyes staring at the distance.

"Your parents never said anything? I'm sure they weren't that happy about that, right?"

Scott chuckled morbidly. "My parents died when I was 20. Car crash. The only person I had left was Ethan, and then he went and got himself shot at."

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

Scott shook his head. "Nothing you could've done about it."

"So how long have you been in the army, again?"

"Around 5 years." I replied. Scott raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

I felt uneasy. "Yeah...why?"

Scott didn't take his eyes off me. "You know how to dodge questions, you think fast, and you know how to lie well. Not well enough, but well. I don't know, maybe it's just the psychology student in me."

I just stared at him.

"You look more like a spy than a soldier." Scott said finally. We laughed it off, but on the inside, my heart skipped a few beats. I started to feel feverish and hugged myself.

We walked the remaining distance in silence and when we finally got to the mess, I opened the door and Scott followed in behind me.

"Heya Sha - who is that?" Roach asked, perplexed, with food in his mouth. The rest of the men were seated at the long table, and they all looked up.

I sidestepped and Scott spoke.

"I'm Scott Martin, ex-SASR. I'm a medic, and the newest member of the 141."

Variations of 'Hi', 'Hey', 'Hello' etc were said. Roach patted down on the bench next to him. Scott and I went to get our breakfast and then returned to the bench.

The men began prodding Scott with all sorts of questions, like they had to me when I first turned up.

_Okay, calm down. He's just being a jerk. Probably trying to mess around with you. He must've meant it as a joke. Chill, Gen. You're going to be fine. Just keep an eye on him._

My gaze fell upon the two men sitting at the other end of the table.

MacTavish and Ghost, whose balaclava was rolled up until his nose so that he could eat, seemed to be in a conversation. Suddenly, MacTavish laughed loudly. I narrowed my eyes as he said something that was probably stupid, seeing as he was grinning like a 5 year old. Ghost pressed his lips together. He leaned forward and attempted to lightly slap the Captain, who blocked him at the last second, still grinning. Ghost finished his last bite, pushed his plate away and rolled his balaclava down so that it was back to covering his mouth. MacTavish uttered some words, and then looked over at where I was. I quickly averted my eyes to Archer, who was in the midst of some tale. When I looked back, Ghost's line of sight seemed to be right at me.

I nodded briefly and he returned the gesture as he stood up. The captain and the lieutenant walked over to where the rest of us were sitting.

"We're doing stealth exercises today. Grab your gear and get to obstacle course 2."

The men got up to their feet, with a few deciding to race to the equipment room. Roach whined to Ghost.

"Do we really have to do stealth?"

"Yes."

"But I suck at it!"

"Exactly." Ghost responded effortlessly, and walked up ahead. I jogged up to where he went, leaving Scott, Roach and MacTavish behind.

"We still on?"

"Of course. Unless you want to back out." Ghost replied, his eyes on me.

"No way."

"I was hoping you'd be smart enough to take that opportunity." Ghost remarked, as he opened the door to the equipment room. Most of the guys were already throwing on their gear and picking their equipment. Ghost and I went to the stations at the back of the room.

"If you want to back out, you just have to say so." I quipped, and Ghost chuckled.

"Very funny."

We grabbed the paintball vests and wore them. I tightened my straps, picked my headgear, and took a paintball gun and ammo.

"Are we gonna need silencers?" I asked.

"Not us." Ghost responded.

I raised my eyebrows. "Not us?"

"We're doing a pair up exercise. There'll be 2 people in the course at one time. One of them will be the guard, and the other will be the enemy. The guard has to protect the object that is in room 2, while the enemy has to try to stealthily retrieve the object and pass the start line. If the guard spots the enemy or vice versa, they can fire at each other. Also, the guard can't enter or shoot into room 2. We'll time to see how long it takes before one of them get shot down or the enemy passed the start line with the object."

"If we had suppressors, it'd be easier." I commented.

"Exactly. We're better at this, so let's take it up a notch. If you miss, I'll hear you."

"And if you hear me, I'm dead."

"It's good that you know." Ghost responded. I could practically _hear _him smirking.

"Alright! Pair up and get ready at the starting gate! Archer and Roach will go first, then Toad and Rocket, Scarecrow and Chemo, Worm and Ozone, Jayhawk and Scott, and then Ghost and Shadow. We'll be timing you, and the slowest team will pay for the drinks the next time we hit the bar." MacTavish announced.

"Archer and Roach, get in there."

I clenched my paintball gun against my chest as the two of them moved up. I could feel Ghost behind me and he moved forward so that he was breathing down my neck with his body brushing against mine. From the corner of my eyes, I felt Scott's gaze bearing down upon me, almost stripping every layer of me.

_Oh Genevieve, trouble's only just begun._

* * *

><p><strong>How was it? I hope it was good :P Original plan was to end the chapter right after the end of the stealth exercise, but the whole Scott thing became really wordy and it kinda got long enough already so I decided I could add it next chapter instead :) <strong>

**PS: The next chapter is going to make you squeal if you are a ShadowxGhost shipper!**

**PPS: A really tiny teaser for the next chapter 3**

_I looked up and whispered: "Did we just stop a kid from doing drugs, dislocate the limbs of three gang members, run for our lives while being chased and shot at by mafia -"_

_"and kiss...?" Ghost finished._


	9. A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

**Hey guys! Super sorry for the long delay, but I hope I'm making up for it by _giving you guys a chapter that's the size of 3 average chapters_! Phew! This was not easy!**

**Anyway, replies to the reviews:**

**TheShadeOps: **Yeap, and Scott is going to be a pretty vital character in the story so yay! **And to my other readers, please do go check out Leave Pass, The 141 Archives and The New Arrivals by my fellow writer TheShadeOps!**

**BLACKHAWKSgirl92: **I love to tease! Haha, I hope you enjoy this update, thanks!

**Victory: **Thanks once again for that awesome review! Scott is a rather important character who might be supporting or foiling Shadow, but either way I think his plot will be very interesting to work on!

**Anon: **Thank you so much for the extremely constructive review! I found that it really helped me realize mistakes that I didn't even know I was committing! (For eg, how defensive Shadow seemed at first.) I really appreciate you taking the time to type out such a long review. I know that descriptions are one of my worst areas when it comes to writing, so I'll make sure to work on that. I've tried to do better (in terms of descriptions) in this chapter, so if you're still reading, please come back and review! Though don't expect a sudden drastic change, haha! I'm still on the lookout for betas, but I haven't found any whose area of expertise is description, so I guess you guys will have to make do with my attempts at good description for a while! All in all, thanks!

* * *

><p><em>17 hours before<em>

A ray of sunshine pierced my sight and I held a hand up to my eyes to shield myself. Sweat trickled down my neck even though it was a rather cold season.

My torso ached and I could still feel the ghost of a paintball smacking right onto the skin covering my lower rib. Stupid stealth exercise. Stupid Ghost.

Said stupid man was standing next to me, and we were outside the door to the equipment room, joined by MacTavish and the rest, who were all smirking or giggling or trying hard not to laugh. The Captain himself was pressing his lips together, but the glint in his eyes gave it away that he really found this whole thing amusing.

I turned to my partner for a brief look and saw the green paint that fashionably spread across his vest. A soft chuckle escaped my lips and Ghost growled.

"Shut up – you shot me off the safety vest." I retorted.

Ghost leaned against the door. After a long pause he replied. "You're a muppet."

A slight breeze kissed the back of my neck, which I was grateful for. "You're just annoyed because no one's ever shot you before on a stealth exercise." I gloated in an undertone.

"Bitch."

"Bastard."

"Alright you morons. We've got the scores here. You both got caught before you managed to sneak the object out, so we'll just have to see who was faster to catch the other one." MacTavish announced.

"Just get on with it!" Ghost barked, his Southern accent ringing in my ears.

MacTavish laughed and I groaned. They'd been purposely delaying the results, just to piss the both of us off.

"Captain I swear if you don't –"

"Alright alright lassie, here goes." MacTavish finally said.

I tensed and my heart started beating faster. Ghost straightened up and crossed his arms.

"Shadow got shot in 62.9 seconds and Ghost got shot in…"

I took a deep breath.

"…67.2 seconds." The Captain finished. I felt as if the air in my lungs got violently sucked out of me. Ghost began howling as I slammed my head against the door.

"No way. No fucking way." I cursed, still in shock. Ghost walked away, still laughing as everyone began dispersing.

"No one's even gotten that close to his timing or has shot him that fast, so good job." MacTavish walked up to me and assured me. I stayed unmoving for a while, and the good captain nudged me. Sighing, I slowly trudged back to the living quarters with him.

"So close Tav! So close –" I whined as I clenched my fists. I couldn't believe it. 4.3 freaking seconds away?! I'd rather have lost to him by a whole minute or something! To know that all I had to do was sprint out of my cover after a mere 5 seconds to have beaten Ghost! I kicked a rock lying on the side of the pathway.

"Yes, Shadow, I know." MacTavish said, smiling.

I groaned and dropped my head in my hands as we walked back together. The heat within my many layers of clothing started to get uncomfortable and I considered removing some of it, but then I remembered Rio and kept it on to somehow tell myself that I could handle it seeing as I'd gone through worse. The memory of Meat and Royce suddenly flooded back into my mind and I wondered what they would have said if they were still with us. Royce would've just told me that's it was a good try, and Meat would've never stopped laughing at me.

"So what now, you're going out for drinks with him?" The Captain asked, snapping my out of my reverie.

I'd completely forgotten about the deal. So now I had to go out on an it's-not-a-date thing. Great.

MacTavish probably saw me close my eyes and sigh. "It's just a few couple of drinks, you'll be fine."

"I know. It's just – ugh, I wish I'd won. Would've been more fun." I said in a dry voice.

"You'll beat him. Eventually." The Scotsman said to my slight joy.

"Oi loser!" A loud voice called out to me and I rolled my eyes. The Captain chuckled as the owner of the voice marched to me.

The Captain moved aside as Ghost wedged himself between us.

"Meet me at the front gate at 9. Don't be late." He said to me in a low tone. I could see his icy blue eyes through his dark shades and my heart quickened. Ghost then picked up his pace.

"What'd he say?" MacTavish asked after he was gone.

"Nothing much." I replied, my eyes still on the British Lieutenant.

* * *

><p><em>15 hours before<em>

I scanned myself in the mirror.

A pair of black jeans, a red check shirt with a white tank inside, and a pair of black pumps.

_Okay...not bad._

I slipped on a black jacket, and my eyes briefly scanned the man snoring lightly on the other bed. Scott Martin – who had been renamed 'Prophet' because he had somehow creepily predicted the results for 3 of Roach's crazy antics in an hour correctly– turned out to be much better than I thought he'd be. Of course, I didn't have high expectations after our first conversation. Prophet and I shared a specialty in stealth, which the exercise revealed, but he still had a lot more work to do if he was going to share the elite spots with Ghost, MacTavish or me. The current standings left him in fourth place and me in second. However, he fared way better than me when it came to CQB and melee weapons. A short sniping exercise showed that we were pretty much on the same page when it came to long distance firing, so Prophet had replaced Roach as my new sniping partner.

As I closed my room door behind me, I figured that Prophet probably wasn't any sort of a threat to me or my job. He was just a small…scare. Nothing to have to worry about. Relieved, my heels clacked against the wooden floor as I made my way to meet Ghost at the entrance. When I left the living quarters, I was taken aback by how my surroundings seemed very eerie, but also rather beautiful at night. The entire base was bathed in a dark mercuric shade of silver by the moon. There was a light breeze and the trees rustled peacefully. The soft silence in the air suddenly got severed by a cacophony of loud barks from a corner and my head whipped to my side but I couldn't see anything. Not that I really cared though, it was common for street dogs to have mauling matches at random. My mind immediately focused when I noticed a tall lean figure leaning on the rusty metal gates that guarded the entrance to the base. As I approached him, the figure turned towards me and straightened.

I had never given much thought to what Ghost would look like in civilian clothing, nor had I ever seen him in them, but when my eyes fell upon him it seemed very odd. Ghost looked out of place in non-military attire, which was probably the result of spending more time covered in dark greens and blues than civvies, and learning to be comfortable in the former instead. The jeans he was wearing were well fitted his shirt was rather tight, almost as it had been sewn on him. Ghost also had a jacket on, which was a wise decision seeming as the air was chilly. The only piece of clothing he wore that resonated some kind of familiarity was his balaclava. I guess even a trip to the bar was not a good enough reason to take that thing off.

Ghost briefly glanced at me before speaking. "Let's get going then."

"Where are we going?" I asked as we made our way towards the side of the gate, where vehicles were parked.

"Archie's Bar, down Lannister Road." Ghost replied. He mounted one of the bikes and I slowed to a stop, ambivalent. Was I supposed to get on another one myself or was I supposed to ride with him…?

Ghost turned and stared at me as I awkwardly stood unmoving, looking quite like a lost duckling. "Are you going to get on or what?" He asked, his hands gesturing to the bike.

"I'll drive myself." I quickly said, and then regretted immediately. Ghost tilted his head to the side, and decided to go with it. "Okay."

I awkwardly made my way to another of the bikes and got on. I berated myself.

_Really? He asked you to ride with him and you say no? What is wrong with you for god's sake! He's good looking. Okay – who are you kidding, he's frigging hot and you do that. You're an idiot._

"Tell me something I don't already know." I murmured to myself. "You said something?" Ghost turned to me. "Nope." I shook my head extra fast. I could see him raise his eyebrows, and then turn back to the gate.

_Great, now he thinks you're an idiot too._

Ghost fired up the engine, and I did the same. We pulled out of the parking area and sped onto the main road.

The wind rushed against me almost as fast as a train. My hair was flying behind me. Cold air filled up empty spaces in my layers of clothes making me feel like some kind of an inflatable toy. It had been a while since I'd driven a motorcycle, and I began to wonder why. I couldn't stop the grin that spread on my face as my eyes watered slightly due to the wind. The road was mostly empty, and that gave me some sense of freedom, although it wasn't as if I was swerving or doing tricks or anything. I always wanted to be reckless and zip down a highway with the police on my tail and night with nothing but sirens and chillness in the air.

The thunderous engine noises of another motorcycle made me perk up and remember that I had company. I briefly turned as Ghost drove side by side with me.

"Where did you say we were going again?" I asked, raising my voice so he could hear me over the crackling and guttural sounds our motorcycles were making.

"Lannister Road." He replied, his voice too raised.

I frowned. "I've been told to stay out of that area." Ghost was about to reply when a car came on. We parted to let it pass and then got back together.

"Who told you that?"

"Roach, Chemo, pretty much everyone. They say it's dangerous."

"They're wimps." Ghost remarked, and I turned to him, before turning back. He must've thought I was scared, because after a pause he added on.

"You're with me, there's no reason to be worried. Any guy stares at you a little longer than he should be -"

"and I'll gank him myself." I finished. We looked at each other briefly, and I smiled. Ghost chuckled.

The drive was mostly coversationless for the after that, and I thought it was going to stay that way, until Ghost began chatting.

"Tell me about your family."

"Uh," I swallowed, caught off guard.

"It was a pretty normal military family. Dad was a Marine, Mum was a Coast Guard. I was the only child. At first I didn't want to join the army, or even get anywhere near it. I knew how to shoot and stuff, I mean my dad took me hunting and all but I just didn't really like it. I suppose I was more artsy. I wanted to dance. Ballet, specifically."

We were approaching a fork and Ghost nodded towards it. "So you told me that day we had sparring sessions. What changed?"

We took the fork and following Ghost, I kept to the left. "Injury. Couldn't do professional ballet anymore, and I felt like I had no purpose. Spent 3 months moping around, until one day I just...I don't know - had a light bulb moment? Figured if I was gonna keep training for a performance and a career that's never gonna happen, I could at least put myself to some use and save lives."

"So you joined the army."

"So I joined the army. Didn't mean anything to me at first, when I was around in the Rangers, but then - I suppose it was the military genes in my blood - I moved up the ranks and then JSOC took me in. Everything was different, though. No more loud firefights and IEDs and shoot-every-guy-you-see. JSOC worked behind enemy lines often, and I had to learn to be quiet and stealthy and all. And that's where all those years of ballet came in. If you wanna be quiet, be graceful." I finished. By now, we were driving down an empty double lane road with huge fields on both sides. It looked very much like what I would picture a farmer's family to wake up to. I looked ahead and saw the road leading to a line of buildings on either side of it, like a small town, and bright neon lights flashing along with dull yellow road lights.

Ghost nodded. I felt a little brave, so I decided to venture. "What about you?"

Ghost's body immediately stiffened and his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

I straightened myself, not knowing what to expect.

"Dad was a druggie, abused my mum, brother took after him but changed. Pretty much the cliché." Ghost responded in an emotionless voice.

I stared at him for a while. He was obviously lying. If he didn't trust me enough to tell me his life story why did I just tell him mine?

_Maybe it's depressing or traumatic or personal -_

We're in a job where on a daily basis I have to put my life in his hands and obey his every order without even a second's hesitation. I can't give him control of my life without even knowing a single thing about him. Trust is a two way street. He can't just -

"Hey - you okay?" Ghost interrupted my racing mind.

"Yeah." I said bitterly. The town was in our vicinity now, and I could see that it was bigger than it had seemed like from afar.

"You don't seem okay." Ghost persisted.

"I just don't like not being trusted." I replied, keeping my eyes on the buildings ahead of us.

We were both quiet as we drove into the town. I could see why the guys had told me to stay away from there. The lights were bad, people were smoking, women were being leered at, and groups of drunk men were making a ruckus. My eyes fell on a lean, greasy man and his young female friend who wasn't wearing much. He sent his hand up the front of her dress and within seconds she was moaning into the man's shoulder. All of this, right in the middle of the street. Another moan of sorts caught my attention, and I whipped my head to the other side, where a man and a woman were having the time of their lives in an alleyway. The woman was kneeling before the man and the two seemed to be in nirvana.

I quickly parked my motorcycle by the road as Ghost had done and set my eyes straight on the bar (which was adorned with pink and green neon signs).

A bell tinkled as entered the bar. It was rather quiet, compared to the outside, and the whole place was the complete opposite of modern. Wherever I'd expected to see glass, was wood. The TV was a small square box with two antennas sticking out, and buttons on the side. A radio was sitting on the bartenders table.

"Heyyyyy Ghostie! Lon' time no see!" The bartender called out, and Ghost moved to greet him with a one armed hug.

"How's the job comin'?" The man asked, his grey eyes twinkling as his balding head shined in the light.

"It's been quiet, for a while."

"Yeah? Good to hear that then...an' who's this pretty lil' dove?" He asked, grinning at me.

_Ah, flirtatious old men._

I opened to say something when Ghost spoke first.

"Girlfriend. She's in town for a while, figured we'd spend time together before I get deployed somewhere or something."

I just smiled and nodded, while on the inside, my heart skipped a beat and blood rushed to my face.

"I see! 'Course a pretty lil' thin' like you ain't single no more for an ugly old thin' like meh!" Ghost's friend said to me, and I laughed. He showed us to a table at the back - "Give you two lovebirds some privacy!" _*wink*_ - and then left.

"I'm your girlfriend?!" I burst out once he was out of earshot.

"He has a daughter. Keeps trying to get me to, you know. Figured he'd stop if he heard I already have somebody." Ghost explained nonchalantly.

My confusion turned into anger. "So that's why you wanted me here - to throw him off." I crossed my arms and leaned away from the table, pressing my back against the cold, hard wooden chair.

Ghost looked me in the eyes as he leaned forward. "No, I wanted you here because you're my teammate."

"Teammates trust each other." I snapped.

Ghost sighed. "I don't not trust you, okay? It's just that I don't like talking about my past. I'm gonna get vodka shots for us, do you want anything else?"

I pursed my lips together. "Beer. In a bottle."

Ghost relayed the order over to the bartender, who nodded and turned to his duties. Within seconds, the drinks arrived at our table. I smiled fakely as Ghost's old friend beamed at me, but I dropped it as soon as he turned away.

Anyone walking past the two of us would've thought that we were mourning a death. Ghost and I just kept drinking in silence, albeit the occasional hiss of pain escaping our lips as the alcohol seared down our throats in a fiery trail.

I didn't mind, though. I was glad that we weren't talking. Ghost felt like more of an enigma the more he talked. But there was also a part of me that wondered whether he was doing me a favor by not telling me the horrors he had to go through. They must've been really damaging, if they managed to make a man hide his face behind a balaclava 24/7. Perhaps it was a fire, and it burned his face? My eyes scanned the only visible part of his face - his mouth - which was the case whenever he was eating or drinking.

Nope. No burns or scalding of sorts. Nothing at all, actually. Just a normal jaw.

Not that normal. It was pretty sexy. The whole guy was sexy, but his defined jaw was just a piece of art. The light stubble that surrounded his mouth and his dark lips were nothing less than attractive. I'd dated my fair share of insanely hot guys, but Ghost seemed to just fly past them. There was something genuinely sexy about his mysterious air, the British accent and his icy blue eyes. I suppose it was all just cliché - girl falls in love with the hot, mysterious and dangerous guy, and in the end pays the price for it by dying or something.

Was Ghost going to send me to my death? Maybe. I do have to follow his every order. One of these days it's going to be miscalculated and I'd pay the price, right? But then again, this was Ghost. Nothing ever gets 'miscalculated' with him around. Or Captain MacTavish. Or pretty much everyone in the 141, coming to think about it.

We were the prima donna squad; we never miscalculate anything. Correction - we never miscalculate anything, most of the time.

I snapped out of my reverie when a melodic tune began playing out from my jean pocket. My fingers curled around my cell phone and pulled it out. When I saw the name on the screen, I immediately excused myself and exited the bar.

The cold air made me wrap my jacket around myself tightly and I answered the call.

"Romeo."

"Golf." The familiar voice of my handler put me at ease once again. "How's everything?"

"Fine." I replied, as my eyes fell on 3 formidably large men being approached by a scraggly, scrawny boy who seemed no older than 10.

"A new guy joined –"

"Scott Martin?" Roy asked.

"Yeah. SASR, he's a medic. Apparently signed up because his best friend got KIA." I briefly thought about telling Roy of Scott's little joke, but decided against it. "Listen, do you have any idea when Shepherd will get here? I haven't seen him here in like, 2 months. Even Roach said that was unusual."

"Even who?"

I stepped back as a man sped down the pathway on a motorcycle. "Gary Sanderson. It's not important. The thing is, this is weird. Do you have him on any radar at all?" I asked, exasperated. My eyes subconsciously averted to the 3 men I'd seen. They'd been talking with the boy, and he must've given them unpleasant news, for now two of the gigantic men were swaggering up to him. The boy started shaking and stepped back, but within seconds the third man flung his hand out to stop the two who seemed like his henchmen.

I frowned, but Roy's voice diverted my attention. "Nothing. I can't find him anywhere. He hasn't checked in with his pals over at the DOD or been talking to the Secretary of Defense."

"I feel a 'but' coming on." I said in a singsong voice as I absent mindedly picked at my fingernails.

"I've been hearing rumors that he's setting up another task force."

I straightened, and my eyes widened. "He's doing what?" I asked, baffled.

"I don't know, it's not confirmed. But my source is pretty reliable, so I'm not sure what to make of it."

"Okay, this is definitely suspicious." I responded, as I heard moans and giggles and sounds of light slapping resonate from the alley nearby. Pressing my lips against each other, I tossed a dirty look over my shoulder.

"Seconded. Any luck from your end?" Roy asked.

"Shepherd has an office of sorts in a building near the phone booths. I've scoped it out, but it seems impossible to break into. Three locks, and the third is a keycard lock. I can't get in unless Shepherd turns up anytime soon."

"Dammit." Roy said harshly. After a long pause, he continued. "Well then, you've just got to sit tight til he decides to show up."

"Tell me something I don't already know." I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up sass queen." Roy and I chuckled. The moans coming from the alley near me got louder and I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that somehow that would stop the sounds from entering my eardrums.

"What was that?" Roy asked sharply.

"Oh God no, it's not what you think it is. Well it actually is what you think it is, but it's not me or anything; I'm just – I'm just in a bad part of…a bad town." I babbled.

"What are you doing in a bad part of a bad town?" Roy questioned.

"Having drinks with a team member. Nothing much, really." I could feel heat rushing into my cheeks.

Roy laughed on the other side of the phone. "I was gonna ask you how you were, but I think that covers it already."

"Shut up. It'd be a miracle if I get any action anytime soon." I replied, chuckling.

"Get your shit done, come back to me and we'll change that." Roy said quietly. I laughed before realizing he wasn't actually joking.

"Roy, you're not – you're kidding, right?"

There was a pause. I realised what was happening. Air escaped my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut and let my head fall back against the brick wall.

"No, I'm not kidding." He replied, in a rough voice.

"We tried that once, remember? It didn't end well." I said softly, biting my lip.

Roy chuckled morbidly. "If you mean that op in St. Petersburg, all we did was kiss, strip, and have –"

"And the next morning you and I both regretted it." I cut him off, desperately willing my mind to stop the reel of memories playing in my head.

"No, you regretted it. You never cared what I th –" I saw movement in the corner of my eyes and turned. Ghost was leaving the bar.

"—Listen Roy, I've gotta go." There was silence over the phone. "Roy?" I ventured softly, as I caught Ghost's eye and he approached me.

"Call me if you find anything." Roy replied, in an emotionless tone.

"Roy –!" I called out but he hung up. I pulled the phone away and stared at the screen.

"Everything okay?" Ghost asked. Pressing my lips together, I shoved my phone back into my pocket and nodded.

"Why'd you leave?" I asked him.

Ghost shrugged. "You weren't coming back in, we'd had enough, and it's already past 11 so…yeah."

I turned and glanced at my surroundings. I hadn't paid much attention to my environment while I was on the phone with Roy, so it surprised me when the sky was no longer dark blue, but more of a pitch black colour.

"Oh wow. Yeah, we should probably leave…" I trailed off as I noticed Ghost wasn't paying attention to me anymore. I followed his line of sight and saw the group of three men and the young boy.

I couldn't see much from where I was standing, and also half due to the fact that the three men had created a kind of a wall around the boy, but I could tell that whatever was happening, the little kid didn't like it one bit. He shuffled backwards from something that was being handed to him.

Suddenly, Ghost straightened and swore. I turned, bewildered, but Ghost charged past me at the small gathering across the road.

"Oh no." I murmured to myself, and brisk walked as fast as I could with heels on behind him. A loud cacophony of horns suddenly jarred the relatively quiet environment and I jolted. Ghost just walked on like he hadn't heard a thing. I quickly crossed the road and joined him on the other side.

It was then that I could see exactly what was happening.

One of the men had an iron-tight grip on the boy's wrist and was holding it in such a way that the boy's palm was facing skyward. In his other hand, the man was holding a needle, ready to penetrate the young boy's skin at the word of his boss.

Ghost pushed the kid back and stood between him and the men. I moved to the reassure the kid or something but he dashed away and by the time I blinked, he'd vanished.

"And if it isn't you again, nimrod." The boss announced, glaring at Ghost.

_Oh great, they have history. Perfect. Why don't you just call for an ambulance now, huh?_

The men were all dressed in similar attire; filthy wife beaters paired with impossibly filthier pairs of jeans. The boss, who stood in the middle, had a jacket on as well, and had one of his eyes sewn shut.

"What were you doing with that kid?" Ghost asked, in an intimidating tone. However, it had no effect on the gangsters.

"His pops owed me money, and he forgot to pay. So I decided to teach him a lesson." The boss replied, crossing his arms with a smug smile on his face.

"If I see you doing anything like that again, I'll ruin your life. Leave the children alone." Ghost spat back at the man, and turned around.

I sighed in relief and was just about to leave with Ghost when someone grabbed my arm.

My body instinctively whipped around and I realized it was one of the henchmen. I gritted my teeth together.

"Fine, I won't mess around with children. But what about this pretty little doll? She ain't no kid!" The boss said, grinning and the men around him whooped.

"Let me go, or I will fuck up your life." I growled at the guy grabbing my hand. "Damn, she's got a mouth!"

My eyes flickered to Ghost, waiting for an order or a command or anything.

_Really? After you just realized that you can't actually trust him, you wait on him?_

I didn't have much time to ponder, for the idiot gang member who was holding my hand decided to assert himself by twisting my arm.

"Okay jerkface – that's it!" I sent a kick right at his knees and he immediately bent down in pain, and let go of my arm. At the same time, I saw Ghost surge at the other guy from the corner of my eye. My opponent stood up again, and I gave him a right cross, after which I quickly bent down and swept his legs from under him. He crashed to the ground just like I had expected, landing on his shoulder. He yelled in pain, and held his shoulder in a weird fashion that I figured was a dislocation from my years of getting injured while fighting.

I whipped around, and saw that Ghost had managed to get the boss and the other gang member down on the ground. The gang member was knocked out, while the boss was clutching his knee and his face was contorted in pain.

"Get 'em! GET 'EM!" He shouted, and I frowned.

At least until I heard loud yells and turned around to see a rather intimidating group of gang members dashing towards Ghost and me, all carrying guns and rifles.

"Oh shit." I remarked.

* * *

><p><em>13 hours before<em>

Ghost grabbed my arm and led me down the nearest alleyway. We sprinted as they chased us, taking random turns whenever they presented themselves. My heart was beating faster than ever, and I briefly considered phoning 141.

"Why. The. Hell?" I asked Ghost. "His name's Seamus McConnel, he runs the mafia here, and he's been pissing me off since Day 1."

Ghost and I reached a T-shaped end and we turned into one of the forks. We halted jarringly when we realised it was a dead end. "Back up back up!" Ghost yelled at me, and I flipped around and ran into the opposite fork. Bullets sprayed the brick walls as they gang members were still on our tails.

I turned my body sideways to sprint past a dumpster, and once the both of us were past it Ghost pushed it towards the gang members. The first two or three slammed into it and I winced. An older man and a young woman were making out against a wall passionately, completely oblivious to their surroundings as Ghost and I shoved past them.

It was only when I tripped and shoulder slammed into the brick wall when making a turn, thanks to my pumps, for the 10th time did I realize I'd had enough of running. "Ghost, they know this place well, and they've got guns. And they're also not intoxicated. We can't outrun them." I explained, kicking off my heels.

Ghost ignored me and made a left turn into another alley – _god who built this place? It's a freaking maze! _– and there was another couple, except for this time they were surrounded by grey fumes and a horribly smoky smell. They weren't that high though, they turned and stared at us as we dashed towards them.

Getting annoyed, and tired, I grabbed Ghost's arm and swerved into the next opening on the right.

"It's a dead end!" Ghost hissed and tried to yank me back, but I pulled him in.

_Don't do it Gen don't do it!_

Halting, with our backs pressed against either side of the narrow fork, I leaned forward and pushed his balaclava up. Our eyes connected for a second and I saw his cerulean eyes flashed, almost threatening. For a moment, I wondered if Ghost was going to hurt me, but before I could ponder it further, I heard heavy footsteps approaching down the alley perpendicular to the fork we were in.

I leaned in and covered his mouth with mine.

More than anything, I was surprised when Ghost kissed me back.

His lips were warm and so much softer than I expected. A tingle went down my spine as Ghost's forefingers pressed against my back. I wrapped my arm around his neck and rested the other hand on his chest. Ghost pressed a hand to my waist, his palm gripping over my tank top. Heat seared through the thin cotton cloth and for a second I thought he had slipped his hand under my shirt. As I sank into the sensuousness of our bodies pressed against one another, our wet lips refusing to part and the heat burning through us as we touched, I lost sense of the world around me. At that moment, Ghost and I were the only ones who mattered.

We separated to breathe, and I realized the thudding footsteps were getting softer and softer as they went further down the alleyway, apparently completely missing Ghost and me. With a lazy hand, Ghost rolled his balaclava back down.

_Holy mother-eff. You kissed. Oh my god you kissed._

Ghost and I were panting, our hearts palpitating. We remained unmoving, both of us uncertain. I decided to test the waters and see if he was willing to forget everything that had just taken place.

I looked up and whispered: "Did we just stop a kid from doing drugs, dislocate the limbs of three gang members, run for our lives while being chased and shot at by mafia -"

"and kiss...?" Ghost finished.

My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish several times before I actually started speaking. In a hushed tone, I tried to explain. "I'm from special forces; I've done lots of covert operations. I've been trained in the art of escaping and this was just a way to hide. I mean I wouldn't have done it unless it was the only option left and it's meant to be completely professional and I don't mean anything else by it and..."

"And...?" Ghost prompted me.

I blinked, licked my lips, and stared at him straight in the eyes.

"And...your hand is still on my waist." I wasn't going to seem like the only one who was all wonky and desperately in love or something.

"This is just me escaping." He said, escaping.

I pressed my lips together, when out of the blue, Ghost's jeans vibrated. He pulled out his phone and answered it, just as we stepped away from each other. I let myself fall, and my back slammed into the rough wall as I sighed.

"Yeah? Yeah we're fine. Ran into the mafia. Yeap, good ole Seamus McConnel. She's fine. Roger that, bye."

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked away. I followed him, feeling a little bitter.

"Who was that?" I asked, shoving my hands into my pocket.

"MacTavish." Ghost replied, shrugging off his jacket and chucking it in a dumpster. He motioned for me to do the same and I raised my eyebrows. "In case we run into them again." I nodded dispassionately and did so. I hardly paid attention as I followed the man in front of me, my mind etched on what had just taken place. Within what seemed like seconds, Ghost had somehow managed to safely navigate us out of the maze of alleys to where we had left our motorcycles.

The entire drive back to the base was painfully silent. I didn't know whether he was angry at me or awkward or in love or anything. To be honest, I didn't even know if I liked him myself.

_Gen, you can't be crushing on your Lieutenant! _

He was hot, sexy, mysterious and all that, but he was equally scary, intimidating and most of all, untrustable. I can't want to be with someone I can't trust! And the same went for him, seeing as I was pretty much lying to everyone about what I really was doing at the 141. Ghost and I together was literally the worst idea anyone could ever have. Besides, I was undercover, and I already have a horrible track record when it came to romancing with my mentors.

* * *

><p><em>12 hours before<em>

Ghost and I parked the motorcycles exactly where we'd taken them from. As I stepped back from the line of bikes and jeeps and noticed the pitch black sky with the alabaster moon, I could hardly imagine that I had been standing in that very spot nearly 3 hours ago, feeling awkward over not riding with Ghost.

The British lieutenant didn't wait for me as I parked my bike. He turned tail and walked back to the living quarters, and when I was confident my bike wouldn't topple over, I walked in his path. By the time I entered the living quarters, Ghost had already disappeared.

Sighing, I trudged to my room. My new bed buddy was in the exact same position I had last seen him in. Taking advantage of his sleep-state and the darkness of the room, I quickly changed into lighter clothes and climbed into my bed. The exhaustion had worn me out and within minutes I fell asleep, the last thought in my head being that if trust was a two way street, when it came to Ghost and me, it was a very long, very wide street that was more aptly named 'Lack of Trust'.

* * *

><p><em>10 hours before<em>

For the second day in a row, I woke up to something that made me fall out of my bed.

This time, it was a loud siren. I got off the floor after having intimately kissed it for 5 seconds. Prophet sprang up like the Energizer bunny and I tried not to laugh. He turned to me, confused.

"We've got an emergency mission. Prep time, 1 minute." I explained, and we both quickly changed into our gear and armor. Outside, I could hear others moving, shuffling, and preparing for whatever this could be.

Prophet turned to me, ready to leave as I tied the last knot on my ponytail. I nodded, and we charged out the door, joining the others as we rushed to the hangar bay. I briefly looked around, the sky was impossibly darker than it was when I'd returned from the bar with Ghost. The air somehow felt colder, and every time I exhaled, I could see a white puff of air before me.

A Chinook was ready to get in the air, its rotor wings rotating rapidly as everyone boarded it quickly. I took a seat next to Roach, and Prophet lowered himself onto the empty seat opposite me. The Captain and Ghost entered, the former quickly checking to make sure everyone was on board and the latter giving the pilot the green light.

"Alright, we're en route to a priority Alpha Search and Destroy mission in Kazhakastan." MacTavish announced, shouting over the loud sounds of the helicopter. "Intel isn't clear yet, and the situation is still building up, but they want us on site. It's a 7 hour ride. We clear? Any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads. MacTavish nodded and sat next to Prophet. Ghost decided to sit next to me. I stiffened and pretended to seem indifferent.

"Hey." Ghost called out to me. I turned, my pulse suddenly quickening. "Yeah?"

"Sleep. We've had drinks. Not the best thing to walk into a priority Alpha mission giddy."

I gritted my teeth together. "I can handle my drinks."

"So you weren't drunk when you did all that?" Ghost responded.

Unable to answer, I shut my eyes and tilted my head backwards, willing myself to go to sleep as fast as possible.

* * *

><p><strong>Damn that was tiring! It took me like 7 - 8 hours to write this whole thing, I think! Phew! xD As per usual, I hope you enjoyed it! :P Like I said, it's gonna get fast-paced, and I think it's pretty obvious something's going down what with the timer and all :D<strong>

**Anyway, if you don't mind, you can follow me on Twitter: /La_Reine_Anu or you can ask me questions anonymously on Ask.Fm: /arrowsxbows**

**Also, I would love to hear Tweets from you guys on what you think about this chapter and what you think is coming, or anything, really! My Twitter is so dead :( And I love to hear from you guys, so yay! Haha, happy reading! :)**


	10. To Hell

**A/N: Hi! Sorry for the late update! I've been having finals all this while! I'm getting my marks back next week, Monday and Tuesday! Let's pray I do well :) Haha, anyway read and review!**

* * *

><p><em>3 hours before<em>

The snow crunched under my boots as I landed. A large white landscape surrounded me, as the rest of the team landed as well. We immediately removed the parachutes and buried them in the snow.

No one spoke until we were done with the burial. It wasn't often to receive priority alpha missions, but then again this was 'the best taskforce on the planet' so maybe everyone was used to this. I wasn't. And from the way Prophet kept biting his lips, I figured he wasn't either.

"Move to positions." MacTavish ordered silently, and we immediately split up. There were two ground units, and two sniper units. I was assigned to sniping duty with Ghost. I didn't understand why I wasn't assigned Prophet. He was my sniping partner, not Ghost who was, at that moment, the last person I wanted to partner with. Maybe they were pulling him out of his comfort zone, like they did with me when they threw CQB at me in Rio. But were they really going to risk it on a priority alpha mission? I wasn't going to lie to myself; I didn't feel comfortable with that call. Not at all.

I tried to clear my mind of the worries and the mission in Rio. The last thing I needed was panic and memories of dead soldiers reeling in my mind.

Ghost and I silently trudged for nearly half an hour to the northeastern tower which highly resembled a lighthouse. There was a door but we opted to use the rusty metal ladder that paved a path straight to the top of the tower. I could've sworn halfway up I heard something inside the tower, but Ghost continued his way up.

_Kate, get your shit together. I mean Gen. Jesus. Is this what they mean when they say 'deep in cover'?_

I scoffed lightly at myself, and once I reached the top, began setting up our equipment alongside Ghost.

"Comms check. This is Team Alpha" MacTavish's voice rang through our comms.

"Beta's online."

"Sniper team one." Archer stated.

Ghost nodded at me. "Sniper team two."

"We read you all, loud and clear. Maintain radio silence from here on out."

"Copy." I replied, and muted the receiver.

Ghost was lying flat on the ground, checking his scope. He raised his hand and waved for a second at the other tower. I looked through my spotting scope and saw Archer and Toad waving back from their side. Chuckling, I leaned against the railing. The top of the tower wasn't very spacious. It was a circular roof, and the entrance to the tower was in the middle – a small structure enclosing a rusting door.

I looked over the railings and scanned the base with my spotting scope. There were tents amidst the many structures scattered around the area. Intel was that Makarov was using the base as an ammunitions depot. The reason for the high priority of the mission was that there was a high possibility of Makarov being on site. The two ground units were to search and capture Makarov. In the event that he wasn't present, once confirmed, the whole base was to be up in flames.

Seeing as I was on sniper duty, I wouldn't exactly be on the battlefield, but that didn't really help me ease my tension. I was genuinely scared. Scratch that, I was terrified. If Makarov was on base, then security would be insanely tough.

Like Spetsnaz tough.

Maybe the 141 boys could handle it, but maybe not me.

I let my eyes close and uttered a quick prayer. I wasn't very religious, but sometimes, faith was the only thing you could depend on. When I opened my eyes, they briefly looked over Ghost. His line of sight was directly at the base, and he laid stiff. We hadn't talked since we got on the Chinook, and I wasn't complaining, but I couldn't help wondering whether the lack of speech was going to stay that way til, forever. Was he just going to ignore me from now on? Or, impossibly worse, was he going to hate me and ruin my life during drills?

_Bright idea, making out with the guy in charge of your drills._

Some days, I didn't understand why the CIA hired me.

Ghost and I remained silent for a very long time, in which I doubted myself about another hundred times, debated about the meaning of life in my mind for approximately half an hour, and relished the kiss for 5 minutes before realizing I was grinning to myself and that was the last thing I wanted Ghost to see me doing.

"Shadow." Ghost called out. I whipped around, startled.

"You okay?" he asked. I inhaled, before sweeping a lone strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'm good." I replied, taking my position next to him.

"Are you scared?" Ghost asked. I turned to face him, and he was less than an arm's length away. I hesitated.

"Shadow. Fear is a good thing. It keeps you alive. Be afraid." He said smoothly.

"Are you afraid?" I asked, trying to look into his eyes. Which didn't work, seeing as he was wearing dark shades.

"No. Fear isn't what's keeping mealive."

"What is?"

Ghost faced me. We stared at each other for a moment.

"You."

I thought I almost died that second. Mostly because my heart skipped two beats. First, because he said that. And second, because the moment those words left his mouth, a ground-shaking explosion rocked the entire base.

* * *

><p><em>1 hour before<em>

"Shit." Ghost said, immediately looking through his sniper rifle sights at the fiery ball that had combusted in the middle of the base. I grabbed my spotting scope and did the same.

Men in white gear with Ultranationalist patches were running amok, and pretty soon, a heavy firefight against 141 was underway.

"Someone talk to me! All I see is smoke!" Toad's voice rang over the comms, and I quickly turned off the mute.

"They spotted us!" MacTavish yelled, with a cacophony of gun shots and shouting in the background.

"No shit!" Ghost muttered from next to me.

"Do we have visual on Makarov?" Archer asked.

"Negative. Haven't spotted him yet."

"Or maybe he was never here." I suggested uncomfortably.

"What's the call? Wanna blow the place up?" Archer asked.

A long silence ensued.

"Cap, if he was here, he would've left by now. Don't risk it." Ghost stated.

"Fuck. Do it." MacTavish ordered everyone.

"Any strays you send our way, we'll pick 'em off." Archer said.

"Roger."

I scanned the area with my scope.

"Talk to me Shadow." Ghost said, cocking his rifle.

"We're outnumbered down there. But the Russians aren't moving towards where we are. They're moving away from the towers. I think they've got a getaway on the secondary LZ on the other side of the base! Hold on…yeah – they do! They've got a chopper on the secondary LZ! There's no way they're gonna cross this direction! Dammit, we should've gotten better positions!" I told Ghost, grimacing.

"Then pack up." He said, and he began disassembling the sniper rifles.

"What?"

"We'll get behind the Russians. You said it yourself, 141's outnumbered. They need us."

"What if they need sniper support?"

"Archer and Toad."

I hesitated. Ghost finished packing up and tossed my bag at me. When I caught it but remained unmoving, he sighed.

"Shadow –"

"You're right. Let's do it." I replied. There wasn't any other way, was there?

* * *

><p><em>30 minutes before<em>

Ghost and I silently made our way on the side of the base, hidden from sight by a row of rocks and bushes covered in snow. I was freezing, and it almost felt hard to breathe.

"Wait, hold on." Ghost announced, stopping before me. I halted. He took a peak over the bushes.

"How's it up there?"

"They're holding their own." He replied as he bent down.

"Well, a little extra help can never hurt. Let's get out there." I told Ghost. He didn't move.

"Lieutenant..?"

"The secondary LZ." He said.

I frowned, and then I understood what he was thinking. "No. No way. It's too dangerous!"

"They're escaping!" he hissed back at me, balling his fists.

"Exactly! There's gonna be like, 20 of them in there!"

"We can handle 20!"

"No we can't!"

"Fuck, Shadow – don't fucking cower away now! You're in the 141!"

"You're making a bad decision! We're gonna get killed!"

"No we're not!"

"Ghost –!"

"I'm ordering you. Come with me." He finally said, stabbing his finger at me.

"You're making a bad call." I responded, seething.

Ghost took a step towards me, and I froze.

And then the sounds of chopper rotors firing up were in the air.

"Your job is to do what I tell you to." Ghost said, before scaling the bushes and darting. Cursing chain of command, I raced after him as he headed for the Chinook. Bullets whizzed past us, but we managed to hop onto the chopper.

I immediately fired upon the Russian soldiers, who were mostly startled by Ghost's and my sudden appearance. But I had to give them credit, they rebounded immediately. And started firing back at us. The chopper rose for a few seconds before Ghost shot the pilot and it crashed back down.

I soon began getting overwhelmed by Ultranationalists. Ghost and i were in a chopper, with absolutely no cover at all, facing practically 25 Spetsnaz soldiers. The moment one of them lifted his weapon, I had to take him down. There was no way a Spetsnaz soldier was going to miss.

And then the one thing I expected to happen, and hoped wouldn't, happened.

Three men aimed their rifles up at me.

_Shit shit shit_

But before anyone of us pulled the trigger, a sharp pain pierced my skin from the back.

I could feel something in me, cold, and for a long second I just froze. Until I realized what had happened.

I screamed.

* * *

><p>The knife was withdrawn from my back and I fell. My attacker whirled around to crouch in front of me, and as if he hadn't done enough, he stabbed me again. The pain scorched every vein in my body. I screamed again, as he raised the glittering blade.<p>

_No no no Roy – David – Frank – Alison – Roach – Archer – Tav – Proph –_

Two loud shots rang out.

My attacker, in a mist of blood, had two holes in him. The first bullet went through his chest, and then pierced my shoulder. The second went in and out of his forehead. He fell backward, just as Ghost let his rifle drop to his side on its strap and dashed towards me.

My eyes began watering and I cried in pain.

Everything hurt.

My back, my front, my shoulder, my head…

"Shadow! Shadow!" Ghost yelled, crouching over me. I could vaguely make out other 141 guys entering the chopper and opening fire at the remaining Russians.

A wave of ferocious anger burst through me.

"What the hell where you playing at?!" I tried to shout at Ghost, but it came out as a strained groan.

"Shadow I didn't _– I _– I need__ a medic!"

"I shouldn't have trusted you." The words left my lips effortlessly.

"I'm so sorry Kate…hey – he – stay with me! Stay with me Kate! Shadow!"

A white hot explosion racked my brain and I shut my eyes, unable to bear the pain any longer.

The last thing I heard was Ghost shouting.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeap. That's what I was counting down to :) EHEHEHE :D Sorry *notsorry* Hope you guys liked it! Please review!**


	11. And Back

**A/N: Helloooo :) Thanks to all the reviews on the last chapter, I figured I could at least throw in a new chapter before I go for holidays on the 12th :) I'll be coming back on the 16th, but I'll leave again on the 18th, and only come back on the 4th of Jan, so I'm not sure how this will work out. Hopefully this won't be the last chapter for this year! :D**

**I decided to let you guys have a glimpse of Genevieve this time. We know all about Kate, but what about Roy and her teammates at the CIA? And, if you're a BOPS I & II fan, you'll definitely spot references in this chapter! **

**Without further ado, here goes:**

* * *

><p><em>"The secondary LZ."<em>

_"They're escaping!"_

_"Your job is to do what I tell you to."_

Flashes of memories played out in my head. Sounds, emotions, sight…it was almost as if I was going through it all again.

_"Shadow! Shadow!"_

"_Stay with me Kate!"_

Ghost's voice filled my head…followed by a sudden rage to kill him. I told him not to do it. I knew it wasn't going to end well and I knew I couldn't trust him and I was fucking right.

_"No. Fear isn't what's keeping me alive."_

_"What is?"_

_"You."_

* * *

><p><em>49 hours after<em>

Shadow's POV

I blinked as my vision slowly cleared. A wave of nausea hit me, and I moaned. The moment it was gone, I gritted my teeth and looked around.

The infirmary.

No surprise. White walls, white tables, white beds. It was as if they wanted to give you the experience of going to heaven. 'Look at what you missed! Because you're alive!' Internally shaking my head at my lack of sanity, I turned. My eyes fell on the figure leaning at the doorframe.

"Miss me?" I asked, smirking.

Prophet chuckled, slowly swaggering over to me while mimicking my voice (in a high pitched girly shriek that was _totally _not what I sounded like). "I'm not gonna get injured cos I'm a woman!"

I slapped his arm as he sat down. The movement made me wince slightly, and he frowned. I ignored the pain. "This didn't happen because I'm a woman!"

"I know." He smirked handsomely. He was pretty hot when he smiled. Well actually he was hot almost always. "But still. It happened."

I scoffed. "Screw off."

Prophet chuckled. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah..." It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. I could still feel my stab wounds ache, though it wasn't as bad as when I actually got stabbed. The pain was more…_concentrated_, instead of burning through my body. The bullet wound in my shoulder – that I was pretty used to. Getting shot wasn't a new experience.

"You're insanely lucky. If he'd stabbed you half an inch higher, he'd have nicked your vena cava." Prophet told me, frowning.

"I didn't pay attention during biology. What the hell is a vena cava?"

Prophet rolled his eyes. "It's an important vein. If it had gotten nicked, the entire volume of blood in your body would've emptied out."

I frowned. "Emptied out…where?"

"Out the wound. You would've bled out in seconds." Prophet said, his voice slowly becoming quieter.

I blinked. I didn't know how to deal with that, knowing that I was a half an inch away from certain death. "Oh...wow. That's...morbid." I exhaled heavily.

"I know." Prophet said softly, holding my hand.

"I almost died." I said out, as if that would somehow help make it more believable.

"Almost?" Scott repeated, smiling.

I was perplexed. "What...?"

"Shit..." he opened and closed his mouth several times. "Wait – is this the first time you've woke up?" His eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. What do you mean almost?" I responded, my mind jumping to tens of thousands of conclusions, each as terrifying as the next.

Prophet breathed deeply. "Kate...we lost you once on the way back."

All though in my mind halted abruptly. "What?!" I almost shrieked. My body sprang up, and Scott gently pushed me back down.

"Yeah...you flatlined. I managed to revive you, though, but technically you were dead for 40 seconds." He explained, still holding onto my hand.

"Oh." Was all I had to say.

"Oh."

"Oh."

"Shadow…it's okay. You're alive –"

"I died. I…actually died…"

"Kate…"

"I don't remember anything I – I blacked out…after getting – after getting – oh god I died…Scott I _died_." My breathing rate increased and I started panicking. I actually died. My heart stopped. My time was up, and they used an AED to resuscitate me.

I actually died.

"Hey hey, you're okay, alright? I got you." Prophet said to me. I clung to his hand like as if it was my life.

"Oh my god."

"Do you need a sedative?" Prophet asked, his eyes glancing at the beeping screens on my other side. I shook my head.

"How long has it –?"

"Two days."

"How long do I have to –"

"4 weeks. But you won't be staying here. You'll be moving out to an actual hospital."

"When?"

"A few hours."

I nodded, my head still feeling heavy. My eyes were focused on a point in the wall.

"Do you want me to get someone?" Prophet asked, rubbing my hands.

"What's everyone doing?"

"Chilling. They wanted to come see you, but the nurses didn't think you were ready yet."

"How'd you –?"

"I'm a medic. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty hot."

I scoffed, feeling very distant. "Tell them…I didn't wake up. Not yet."

Scott nodded, his brows furrowed. "You don't want to see them."

"I don't want to see _him_."

Prophet exhaled loudly. "Ghost."

I pressed my lips together, balling my fists.

"Kate –"

"Don't."

He stared at me, and then resigned. "Fine."

* * *

><p><span>Roy Hudson's POV<span>

I glared at the manila files on my desk. The pile seemed to grow every day. I just wished they'd understand I had better things to do.

The door to my office opened. I looked up.

A short woman with a blonde bob dressed in a suit peeked in.

"The car's here for you, Mr Hudson."

"Thanks, Eva."

She nodded, and held the door for me. I grabbed my suit jacket and left the office. I subconsciously zigzagged through the maze of corridors and people. I didn't have any time to marvel at the architecture of the Pentagon. I was more worried about Genevieve.

_Of course she got stabbed. Twice. And died once. _

Somehow it all felt like my fault. I was the one who threw her in the meat grinder. She wasn't the first choice to infiltrate 141, but I pushed for her to get selected. No one suspects women. It's something we both knew from her previous missions, and I figured we could use her as an advantage. But SecNav wasn't so sure. He didn't think a woman could cut it. So he threw her and the 10 other candidates into an intense fitness regime. And guess what? She came on top. Repeatedly. Guess JSOC didn't screw around when they picked soldiers. And I guess I didn't screw around when I picked agents.

But now, she's injured. And it's hardly something minor. It's so bad, it's shaken 141 up. And the rest of us at homebase too.

I sighed. I knew being a handler was tough. My late father was a CIA handler himself, though his agent was a little more whacked up than Gen.

A lot more whacked up.

Alex Mason. He was a legend around the CIA. Brainwashed by the Soviets, turned into a sleeper agent, and somehow broke through all of it and managed to save the whole fucking country. I wasn't really that surprised when I found out Gen was related to the hero. It was by a longshot – Mason's sister was Gen's grandmother, but the both were similar in the way they could go through their crucible, and live to tell the whole damn tale.

A hand slapping down on my shoulder caught my attention. I turned.

_Speak of the devil – ish._

The 6'1" muscular mass of a lieutenant commander stood beside me.

I tried not to groan.

"David I'm busy. Walk and talk." I told him, and with that, Alex Mason's prodigal son briskly kept up with my pace as I neared the Pentagon's exit.

"I heard about Gen."

"From who?" I frowned. I literally only found out 2 hours ago. How did he –?

"It's not important. Is she okay?" David and Gen were pretty close, especially after they found out they were related. Technically he was her uncle, but he was only about a decade older, so most people thought they were cousins.

"She got stabbed twice and coded once, Section. What the hell do you expect?" I hissed.

"So what's the plan?" David ignored my tone. I guess he'd gotten used to my hatred towards him.

"Classified."

"Don't make me call the old man on you."

"You're threatening me with a 90 something year old guy?"

"He still hates your dad. And he's a war hero. And you haven't held a gun in years. He could take you down."

"Yeah…if I was moving at the speed of a damn sloth he might. Fucking vegetab –"

Before I knew it, I was hoisted up by his fists grabbing my suit. My head slammed against the corridor wall. I was lucky that there was no one else there to watch me getting manhandled.

"Jesus fuck Mason!" He released me. Although I hated to admit it, I did feel bad about that comment. I'd crossed a line.

"One last time. What are you doing about Gen?" David glared at me.

I straightened my suit as I replied. "She's getting moved out of the 141 base to a secure hospital. Which somehow, coincidentally, is a CIA secure hospital."

David finally cracked a smile. "Coincidence?"

I nodded, smiling back at him.

"You're gonna see her?"

"Yeah. I need to clear stuff up with her first. And the first thing I'll do after that is call you."

"Thanks Roy. Sorry about the –"

"It's fine. I shouldn't have. Send the old man my regards."

"Roger." Section replied as he walked away. I exited through the door, flashing my ID at the scanner. I got into the car that was waiting for me.

This was gonna be a long day.

* * *

><p><span>Kate's POV<span>

My reflection stared back at me. Same old brown hair, same old brown eyes, same old…everything. My eyes fells on a pair of metal scissors by the sink and I twisted my fingers around them. Slowly, but carefully, I trimmed my hair. I'd been meaning to do so for a while. It was getting too long and splitting at the ends.

When I was finally done, I ran the scissors under the tap water and brushed the snippets of my locks off my shoulders.

There was a knock on the door. My eyes flickered to the clock hanging in my room, but I knew what time it'd be before I even saw it.

14:00.

Time for my daily visit from my handler.

I slowly made my way to the door, before realizing halfway that it hurt too much and that it'd take an eternity before I reached the door.

"Come in!" I announced as I resigned to my bed, trying to say it in a cheery voice.

Didn't work.

The door opened and like I expected, Roy Hudson walked in, carrying a few books. Suit clean, hair looking like it was effortlessly sexy (but I knew it wasn't effortless), and an air of classy arrogance about him.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked, his voice low and smoky. Kinda sexy, but then again, nothing beats Ghost's accent.

_Gen, he got you stabbed. Don't._

Right.

"Peachy." I said. I knew Roy took that to mean 'It sucks and the pain is killing me.'

"Just another 3 and a half weeks." He said, as if it was good news.

I sighed.

"Did you cut your hair?"

I nodded, touching the new shortened ends.

"I liked you better with longer hair."

"And I liked myself better un-stabbed." I replied. We both chuckled.

"How's the team?" I asked.

"141 or our team?"

I seized for a moment. Roy said it like a joke, but I knew he didn't mean it as one. It didn't take all of his 4 visits until now for me to figure out he was worried that I'd gotten attached or something.

And he should be. Not a damn day went by in the rickety CIA hospital where I didn't think of them.

"Of course I meant our team, moron." I lied through my teeth. Roy smiled, but I didn't know if he bought it.

"Arthur got temporarily re-assigned, Sasha's taken leave for a few weeks to see her parents, Jeremy's keeping tabs on other agents in the field, and Ethan got thrown into Moscow."

My heart skipped a beat.

_Your team. The team you didn't even think about for such a long time. People who've known you for 2 years. Look at them. _

"They're…everywhere." I said, frowning. An immense wave of guilt washed over me. I hadn't even thought to ask about them. I didn't even care about all these people whom I served with. Arthur, the guy who came in with Roy and recruited me from JSOC. Sasha, the only other girl on the team who made me feel at home. Jeremy, the jester and the one who made sure he got my ass out safe and secure after every damn mission. Ethan…the one I went in to recruit.

I missed them.

"I wish I could see them."

"You and me both, Evie."

"Why's Ethan in Moscow?" I asked. Ethan and I had a different sort of a relationship. I felt like an older sister, sometimes even a mother when it came to him. I was chosen to recruit him, which meant I had to break the news to him that he'd have to lie to those around him and fake his death and all. Joining the CIA as an undercover agent meant cutting all ties – forever.

But I also got to show him the ropes, teach him the tricks of the trade, and watch as his eyes lit up when he passed each mission. He was like my brother, and I didn't like it one bit that someone assigned him to go undercover into the lion's den.

"I don't know. Classified." Roy said, shrugging.

"Classified to you?" I frowned. Roy, despite his age, was considered one of the 'higher-ups'. There was hardly much classified to him! And then I saw him pressing his lips together with an apologetic look on his face.

"Really? Goddammit."

Classified to _me_.

"Is he at least safe?"

"As of the last update I got, yeah." Roy told me. I nodded to myself.

_Well at least one of us was safe._

"Listen, I brought you these –" Roy said, as he handed me a few books from the table. I reached over and accepted them, briefly browsing the titles. _The Catcher in the Rye_,_ Anna Karenina_,_ 1984_ and –

"The Spy Who Came in from The Cold?" I asked, an amused smile on my face.

"It's good. Maybe you could pick up some tips."

"If I needed tips I'd ask for 'How Not to Get Stabbed and Shot At'."

Roy pretended to think. "Well that's easy. Don't join the fucking CIA."

I laughed.

"I gotta go." He said finally.

"I know."

"I'll be here tomorrow."

"I know."

We both paused, and the unsaid statement from him – _'I love you.'_ – and the unsaid reply from me – _'I know.'_ – hung in the air.

"Get better." Roy broke the awkwardness, and I stifled a sigh of relief.

"I'll try."

"Bye."

"Bye." I waved, as the door shut behind him.

I leaned back against the pillows.

Sleepiness began to wash over me, like ocean waves as the tide increased, gradually dragging me to the state of slumber, but I fought them.

I couldn't let myself go to sleep.

I didn't want to wake up screaming.

The nightmares were killing me.

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><p><strong>AN: Ta daa!**

**Thor 2 reference right there guys^^ I hope someone caught it! Haha :D**

**I loved getting to experiment with Scott and Kate's relationship. They've only known each other for a while, but they've gotten pretty close (evidenced by him finishing her sentences effortlessly.) And the unreciprocated love in between Gen and Roy. We might get to see David Mason next chapter, not sure yet :) And yes, the nightmares. She's been through her crucible, now here are the after effects. **

**Wow. I'm babbling about my own story. Sheesh! Anyway, there's a bit of a Chekov's Gun/Gunman in this chapter ;) If you notice it, good! **

**So, as per usual, _please review!_**


	12. Last Chance

**A/N: Yo! I know it's been super long, but ugh, I have to study - I'm not exactly the smartest person around so yeah :/ No 141 in this chapter, but like I said, I wanted to focus on her family a bit more. I hope you enjoy!**

***UPDATE* Okay so someone informed me that there's another story in the COD category with the same story image as mine. It turns out that story also has the same title as another story in the category. I just wanted to say that I have been informed of it, and I don't think I'll do anything because the image doesn't belong to me, nor is the title of a story the possession of any author's. Thanks for telling me guys! :)  
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><p>I entered the mostly empty hospital café. It looked like a small diner, but with less cozy seats and comfort and more sturdy metal chairs and tables. The sombre pale yellow and white colour combination set the mood of the café pretty quickly, and the more I walked into the café, the less I wanted to be there.<p>

But I had been the one who insisted. I didn't want to hold my meet-and-greet session in my hospital room. Especially since I had been allowed to roam around freely. As comfortable as the bed was, I didn't want to spend any more time stuck in that tiny blue room.

I realised, as I walked further, that I had subconsciously chosen the table for two all the way at the back. My IV stand wheeled in behind me faithfully, until it got caught on one of the table legs. Grumbling to myself, I extracted it from its mess and pulled it to stand by my side, after which I finally took my seat. And with all my attention focused on that, I hadn't noticed the man beside me until he moved to sit across me.

My eyes scanned his hazel coloured eyes, his dark brown hair and the light stubble that suggested he hadn't exactly been free the last week or so, and I smiled.

"Heya, cuz." I grinned, and David Mason rolled his eyes.

"I'm technically your uncle, Gen."

"So you remind me every time I say that. You're only 15 years older than me, dear _uncle_." I countered, as a waitress arrived at our table, took our order – a decaf mocha and an espresso – and left.

"Authority is authority, Gennybunny." He smirked.

I frowned. "Don't you dare call me that again!"

"Alright…_bunny Genny_." Davie replied, his teeth flashing. I attempted to take a swipe at him, but I accidentally tugged on my IV and the entire stand came down. It would have crashed into the table and made a huge scene, but I responded immediately, catching it and setting it back into place.

Just like I had done the first 50 times something like that had happened.

When David raised his eyebrows at me, I held my hands up (carefully, this time) and said "It isn't my fault they keep giving me a short IV line."

He laughed, but his expression soon got serious and he gave me the_ look_.

The one where you knew he was done with the small talk and wanted to get down to business.

Ugh. I hated that look.

"I'm fine." I assured him, placing my hand over his. Right on schedule, the drinks arrived and after a quick "Thanks." to the waitress, David turned to me.

"You died once, Gen."

I let my happy-safe-healthy façade drop and glared at him. "Or so everyone enjoys reminding me."

"We're worried. Roy is worried –"

"Roy's always worried." I grumbled under my breath.

" – Arthur's worried, Jeremy's worried, _Frank _is worried."

At the sound of the war veteran's name I perked up, my eyes wide. "You told Frank?!" I exclaimed.

"Of course I told Frank. He deserves to know; Gen – he's practically family."

I couldn't argue with that. Frank was David's father's best friend, and somewhat of a father figure to David who'd grown without his actual dad. When I first got to know David, he introduced me to Frank, who didn't take to me first. It was only after he saw me sniping against David once that he commented "I'll give yah credit, kid. Best damn thing I've seen with a sniper after Alex Mason. Now go fetch me a cigarette, shortstack." We got on pretty well after that, and before I knew it, he had somewhat become a second father to me too.

I groaned. "The last thing I want to hear right now, is a long tirade, full of swear words, about how I should've been careful and checked my corners and worn a better vest and shouldn't have been over-confident and – ugh. I don't want to talk to him. He's gonna do the job the damn knife couldn't do."

David chuckled slightly at that. "He's inclined towards it, but it's hard to stab someone over the phone."

"Hardy har har." I rolled my eyes. We took a pause of sorts, sipping our drinks in silence for a while as the conversation became stale. I turned to my IV drip and absent-mindedly tapped at the bag, watching the clear liquid droplets roll downwards.

"So what now?" David finally asked.

"Well, mission's still a go. SecNav doesn't want to waste more resources and time creating a new identity for another agent, especially not in the middle of war, when it's practically all hands on deck."

He frowned, but nodded, understanding that chain of command really couldn't be argued with. "When are you going back?"

"Day after tomorrow."

His eyes went wide. "That soon?"

"I called it."

"Gen, for God's sake – you've still got an IV in you!"

"Which they will be removing tomorrow." I responded smoothly.

"You're an idiot." David finally surmised, staring at me as if he could look through me. "And you still love me."

David blew air out of his mouth. "I don't have a choice." We chucked slightly at that, getting lost in the nonchalance, and the peace for a minute. Moments like those, my career choice seemed to bite me in the ass.

And then I noted a change in David. He was frowning, biting his lips, leaning in…

_Oh no…no no no don't ask me for a highly suspicious, illegal, way-above-my-pay grade 'favor'. _

"Gen, I sorta need a favour."

I face palmed. _Oh lord…_

"What is it, David?" I asked, frowning.

He lowered his volume and leaned in further. "I was talking to Frank the other day. About my dad. And he said the usual, you know? 'He was a good man, the bestest man he knew, I take after him, he was a hero' you know, all that stuff. And then I asked him about how he died."

"Frank said it was an accident. He got shot and he bled out, right? We're soldiers, David. Nature of the beast, our career choice isn't exactly a fantastic one."

"Yeah, well, turns out it wasn't the whole truth. I kept pushing him, and then he finally let slip something."

As much as I hated to admit it, I was getting really curious. I had read Alex Mason's entire case file front to back to front again about 50 times (at least all the records that I was allowed to get my hands on). I raised my eyebrows and motioned for him to continue.

"He said my dad was being hunted down by someone with a vendetta against him."

"Wait so, the guy who killed your dad, it wasn't a shootout? He was actually looking for your father?" I asked, my mouth hanging loosely.

David shrugged, his eyebrows bunching together. "I suppose so. That was all I got. Then he went back to the 'It doesn't matter, what's done is done' thing."

"And you want me to do exactly what?" Somehow, I already knew what he was expecting.

"Poke into the files." I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"Dave, I don't know how long it's gonna be before I get back to Langley. And even if I do, that file is classified. It's above Roy! Only the top dogs get to see anything related to Alex Mason's death." I grimaced, placing my palm over David's folded hands. "I'm so sorry, Dave."

He shook his head. "It's fine…it was just worth a shot. Can't blame me for trying, I guess…" He gazed out the windows for a minute, and I wondered if he saw his father, alive and well. Maybe I could put in a word with Roy about it. Maybe.

David finally turned back to me, and we smiled at each other warmly. He consulted his watch and stood up slowly. I followed him.

"Well, I gotta get going. My helo will be here in a couple of minutes." David announced, as we exited the dull café.

"Alright. Be safe, okay?" I told him, one hand gripping my IV stand and the other on his arm.

"Says you." He replied immediately, and I punched him slightly in his side. He laughed and I grinned.

David opened up his arms, and I embraced him. The muscular mass hugged me back, and for a second, I felt protected. His large arms and larger figure wrapped around me – tiny, delicate and fragile. A nuke could land and I felt like I would be perfectly safe.

We pulled apart and parted ways. David turned to the heli-pad, and I moved towards the hospital. I had taken a few steps when I heard David call my name out.

I swivelled as he half jogged half sprinted towards me.

I frowned. "Yeah?"

"I forgot to tell you something." He started, and I tilted my head. "Allison just got back from her tour. She's officially out of a conflict zone. She's safe." He informed me, grinning widely.

Allison.

Allison.

Allison Genevieve Hawkins.

_My mother._

I released a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. My mother, a Master Sergeant in the Marines, was finally pulled out of a major combat zone in Germany.

I didn't know what to feel. I hadn't seen her since I joined the CIA, but I still thought about her, time to time. Ever since the 141 mission, though, I had completely forgotten about her. Too many thoughts in my head to worry about my mother. I closed my eyes for a second, guilt crashing down on me like waves on a shore.

Realising David was there, I looked up. "She won't be going back, right?"

David shook his head. "Her files said she was needed in homebase, commandeering units."

"Well, that's a relief." I said, sighing. "Thanks, David. You don't know how much this means to me." I told him, smiling genuinely.

"Trust me, I know." He replied, and his eyes almost had a solemn look in them for a second. I bit my lip, and once again we parted, only this time he didn't call me or come running back.

As I made my way to my room, my mind was buzzing. My mother...god, I felt like I'd screwed up so bad. And 141...as much as I was exciting and practically shaking in my clothes to be going back, I wasn't sure if I was prepared for it. Nightmares were still plaguing my mind, and I constantly found myself waking up screaming, or in a cold sweat, and unable to return back to sleep.

And I couldn't shake off that feeling, almost like a premonition, that things were about to get very intense.

CIA agent? Terrible career choice.

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><p>AN: HEYHEYHEY I HOPE YOU LIKED IT. I'VE HAD A REALLY SHITTY WEEK (MY EX IS DATING ONE OF MY FRIENDS AND THEY DIDN'T TELL ME OH THE JOY)

Anyway, I don't know if the whole Mother thing was dropped on your heads in a very shitty manner. I hope not.

And Gen is right – stuff's about to get reaaaaaally intense. I was going to put in a sneak peek, and then I realised I have written nothing to give you guys a sneak peek of, and then I went 'Oh. I'm a dumbshit.'

Whatever, whatever, I'm stop babbling now. PLEASE_**REVIEW**_! IT'S JUST THERE. JUST A SMILEY :) WOULD DO :D


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